


Ocean Park

by iamjohnlcked



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, California, Carol Danvers - Freeform, Domestic Violence, Donna Strange - Freeform, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Stephen Strange, I wrote this one years ago with another ship, IronStrange, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Los Angeles, M/M, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Neighbors, Protective Tony Stark, Stephen Strange - Freeform, Tony Stark Carol Danvers are siblings, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Victor Strange - Freeform, When you realize they're already together, clueless stephen strange, famous tony stark, kind of Thorbruce, maria rambeau - Freeform, rich tony stark, someone help me, stephen strange has no one, that 'oh that was fast' feeling because Stephen is broken and Tony is alone so they need each other, thorbruce, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 42,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamjohnlcked/pseuds/iamjohnlcked
Summary: Tony believes someone else's trash says a lot about their personality and the trash of the man who lived in the house behind his made him wonder. Not that he was digging through it, but Stephen's trash was already there when he threw his own trash away.tw///abuse, violence, abusive relationship.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, Carol Danvers & Sam Wilson, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers/Original Female Character(s), Donna Strange & Stephen Strange, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov & Stephen Strange, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Scott Lang & Tony Stark, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Stephen Strange & Victor Strange, Stephen Strange/Original Character(s), Tony Stark & Hope Van Dyne, Tony Stark & Thor, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 79
Kudos: 120





	1. The House

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hello!!!!!  
> I wrote this AU years ago in another language, and today I decided to translate it to English and change the ship, so here we are! I work and study so I'll do my best to come back as soon as possible. I already have the entire story written, so I'll probably see you next weekend!!  
> I hope you like it <3

Ocean Park Boulevard ends by the sea. It crosses Lincoln Boulevard and Main Street and if you walk west you will end up at the beach a third of a mile away from the Santa Monica Pier. 

It was a multi-family house. One in the front, facing the street, one in the back, and a third house on the second floor. Tony lived in the first one and there was nothing he hated more there than the bedroom windows. There was a back door in the kitchen that faced the stairs that led to the other house on the second floor and his neighbor’s back door. 

Ah, the other house! Two bathrooms, two bedrooms, one of them a suite big enough to fit seven people, a living room with a fireplace and a sun deck, a big kitchen, newly installed tiles, and a laundry room.

What did Tony have? Two small bedrooms, one bathroom with windows way too low so he had to take a shower with his window closed (otherwise the neighbors would see him naked), and a small kitchen with a washing machine that never allowed people to fully open the door to the smallest living room in the world.

Tony wanted that house. The one in the back. He was about to talk to the owners to change places when he saw the new neighbor carrying the boxes inside. 

Stephen hated that house. The other room that he used as an office was the room with the back door, and when Stephen wanted to throw his trash the shortest way was through the office, which meant he had to walk around the room with a bag full of leftovers or a bag full of dirty containers. He hated the idea of his office and his trash bags meeting every other day, but he did it anyway.

Tony could get the most comfortable bus in the world to the pier or walk to Main street and get a five-minute bus to the Marina, it didn’t matter, but as much as he hated the house he knew he was living in the best place he could imagine.

Stephen had been living in the back house for a few weeks, and he thought the house was huge. The kitchen was too big, the two bathrooms were useless to someone living alone, the office door was too small and the closet was too big. So big he could live there if he wanted to. The sun deck was also useless. He never had friends over for anything. He doubted he still had friends at all. 

Tony hated his back door neighbor. He hadn’t met him, but he thought the man had terrible parking skills and he never cooked. For god's sake, who has a huge kitchen and orders take-outs that often?

He had moved to Los Angeles a few months before Stephen moved to the back house. Tony was already spending way too much time in town anyway, so it wouldn’t make any difference. His job and half of his friends were there. He was barely staying in Australia, so he packed his bags and moved to Los Angeles in the first opportunity he had. 

Stephen was in Los Angeles for a considerable amount of time. It was better than his hometown, for sure. There he could be himself, do what he wanted to do, and life was slightly less miserable for that.

Tony never met his neighbor. Stephen never met his neighbor. That wasn’t Stephen’s hometown, so he thought he didn’t  _ have  _ to introduce himself. Tony had the same thought. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Tony was twenty-four.

Stephen was twenty-five. 

It all started in June of that year.

Stephen had problems at home. He left New Hope in Pennsylvania behind, unfortunately not forever. His siblings were his reason to go back. His parents Eugene and Beverly were his reason to stay as far as possible, so he grabbed the first opportunity he got and left his town without looking back. He fought as much as he could, worked his ass off for years so he wouldn’t have to ask for a single penny, and left everything he didn’t have to try something else, a life, away from all of that. 

Tony had everything he wanted. Promising career, amazing team, good family, inexplicable support from people all over the world, and he deserved to be there. He did his best, worked hard, and left the other side of the world for his mom. Twenty years before that year his parents bought a flight ticket, packed their bags, and took a flight to Australia, more specifically Sandy Point, probably the smallest town at the edge of the world. Population: 270. Location: three hundred and sixty miles from Melbourne and two feet away from nothing. Tourist attractions: there aren’t any other than trees and water.

Maria and Howard never left. They opened their B&B in Sandy Point, made friends, and started their own business, but Tony never belonged there. He packed his bags at eighteen, searching for experiences he hadn’t lived before, and Sydney was his home for a few years before Los Angeles. His first real gig after being the Shampoo boy and the cereal guy for so long was a tv show. Three seasons of a soapy drama about college students falling in love after the end of the world and suddenly he was famous. Don’t ask. He doesn’t know how it happened either, but he was the face of a new Christmas movie he would start shooting in December, so for the next year, fame wouldn’t simply disappear. Tony wouldn’t change it for the world. 

If Stephen could change anything, he would change most of his life, or even that November night twenty-five years before. He wasn’t the one to blame, he just didn’t know how to be someone else or how to live another life. Everything he knew was that he wasn’t a good person, because in his mind, bad things never happened to good people and bad things happened to him all the time. 

The first eight years of Stephen’s life were great, and then things started to change to a point where everything was unbearable. When he was fifteen he got a job in another city a few miles away from his hometown so he could be away from his house as much as possible. When he left New Hope in Pennsylvania, Dylan went along. Stephen was a very patient man, that’s for sure. His boyfriend had been a problem for years now. To him, life was like that. No choices, just life. 

Tony used to put his headphones on, listen to music as loud as he could, or pretend he wasn’t at home. Usually, he would open the front door and leave discreetly and would walk up the street to the bus stop because it wasn’t his place to hear it. The thing is: he didn’t know.

Stephen was ashamed. He knew when the neighbor was at home and that he could hear them, and that’s why he never introduced himself. Because he didn’t know how, because he would  _ have  _ to explain to Dylan why he was talking to another man, or even put Tony in a place no one deserved to be. He was ashamed when the screaming started because he knew people were listening, he knew they could hear them. Most of the time he was left alone, crying, in pain. Life was more than that he just didn’t know.

Tony knew how life was. He had been to mesmerizing places, had seen a bit of everything, had experienced the best things the world had to offer, had met people all over the planet, always kind, trying to be around him, always trying to please him for the person he would become. He had seen the best studios, the best theaters, the best cinemas. He had watched the best plays, tv shows, movies. He had met some honorable people, some of the biggest names in the world, and had heard crowds scream his name. 

There was a bus stop twenty feet away from the house if you walked west, but when they were fighting Tony would walk half a mile east to another bus stop just to make sure they wouldn’t see him leave the house.

Tony didn’t know what was going on. Most of the time he thought he didn’t have to know, the only thing he knew was that those weren’t words someone deserved to hear.

Stephen thought he deserved even if his entire life he had never done anything bad to deserve it, but that was how life was, in his opinion. Stephen was broken. As broken as the camera that Dylan had just thrown at him, and the boyfriend left him there, crying, completely alone.

Tony was whole. Messages from fans, tweets, smiles, and little gifts made him whole. Tony knew how to put people’s pieces back together, he knew how to enchant, how to make them feel loved. He knew that was the reason people were in the world: to love. To make others feel good, special, worthy.

Stephen was beyond repair. He had nothing. He had a broken camera, money to pay the rent, and a boyfriend that made him feel awful at least twice a day. He deserved everything life was throwing at him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hi!  
> I hope you like it!!!!

The first time Tony paid attention to Stephen’s trash was a week before the end of the third season of his show, in June. They were about to finish shooting, and Tony couldn’t be happier when his manager called saying they got renewed for a fourth season. Tony loved the show, his colleagues, the feeling of going for coffee, signing some autographs.

That Friday morning he got up, had breakfast, and took his trash bags to the trash can outside when he found it: the kleenexes were red due to the blood, and it was the only thing that wasn’t inside the trash bag.

That Friday morning Stephen didn’t leave for work.

Tony hadn’t heard the screams because he was out. They had stayed at the studio until after two am so he didn’t hear it.

The evening before Stephen had taken the trash out a few minutes before Dylan arrived. They got into a fight, which resulted in Stephen’s upper lip bleeding. Dylan left. Stephen slept on the little couch he had in the office so he wouldn’t have to sleep alone in his bedroom, and he threw the kleenexes in the trash can because he didn’t want to face it the next morning.

It hadn’t been the first time. The physical fights started a year into their relationship. Luckily, they both had their own apartment, so Stephen wouldn’t have to deal with Dylan after the aggressions because Dylan would always leave dramatically, and Stephen would be alone for the next few days.

Stephen was used to it.

He knew it would take three days for Dylan to show up again, so he stayed home sleeping, not wanting to go to work with a swollen lip. 

Tony frowned. He knew what that meant because he was used to the screams. He was used to listening to Stephen’s boyfriend yell at him as if he was worthless. As if he didn’t have feelings. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. 

He looked to the house for a second and wondered. It was the first time Tony thought things had gone beyond verbal aggression. He already hated Dylan without even knowing him, but now things were different. That was different.

He checked the time. Ten past eight. He got his phone and called Nat.

“What?”

“I’ll be late.”

“Oh, please don’t do that.”

“Just hold the fort for a second, I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“I hate you.” Tony smiled.

He headed to the house taking a deep breath. It wasn’t too hard, was it? What could go wrong? He stopped at the door with his fist in the air, about to knock.

What if it wasn’t that? What if Stephen cut himself cooking? What if it was his nose? Also, what would he do? What would he say?

“Hi, I noticed you threw some kleenexes in the trash because I always pay attention to the things you throw away, are you okay?”

And then it hit him. Everything. Everything could go wrong. The boyfriend could still be there, he could be the one who opened the door, and then what? He could put the neighbor in danger. He could put himself in danger. 

It seemed like a dumb idea now. He didn’t even know the neighbor, and maybe it was what he thought. Maybe it was just a kitchen accident, a bleeding nose, a paper cut. He would talk to Stephen, introduce himself, but at a time he was sure the boyfriend wasn’t around. Besides, he knew Stephen used to leave for work before eight, so he probably wasn’t even at home.

Tony didn’t know Stephen was at home. He didn’t know the blood  _ was  _ the result of aggression. He didn’t know that that wasn’t the first time.

He left the house and crossed the street in time to take the bus.

  
  


(...)

On Monday Stephen was feeling better. He hadn’t seen Dylan during the weekend, which meant that the boyfriend would show up that day, but Stephen was prepared.

He never fought back. Never. Dylan was stronger than him and Stephen had nowhere to go. He had the house in New Hope and the house in Los Angeles and nothing else. His relationship stopped him from meeting people in California, and all the friends he had in Pennsylvania were also Dylan’s friends, so he didn’t know if he could trust them.

Dylan showed up on Monday, and it would feel like nothing had happened for him. He would apologize, say he was sorry, that it wouldn’t happen again, and that was just a bad day. Stephen wouldn’t believe it. He knew everything would happen again in two weeks when the cuts and bruises had healed. 

When the physical aggression started they were still living in New Hope. Stephen couldn’t break up. That meant he wouldn’t have a place to go when things at home got ugly, so he forgave him. If only he had broken up! If he knew Dylan would follow him to Los Angeles he would have broken up that day, but he thought things would end once he told Dylan he was moving to the city of angels.

Dylan jumped out of the bed, held his face on his hand, kissed him, and said: “Los Angeles sounds excellent! I can find a job there. Sounds great!”

Stephen wanted to say what he was thinking, but he put a smile on his face instead and let Dylan go ahead with the idea.

In the summer of 2013, Dylan beat him for the first time. Unable to go home he called his best friend, who let him stay over. That was the last time Stephen talked to him.  Dylan found him in the friend’s room and his jealousy spoke louder.  Stephen still remembers how he begged Dylan to stop, trying, desperately, take him away from Aaron, but he wasn’t strong enough. Aaron’s father was the one who took him away from his unconscious son. Stephen never spoke to him again.

After that his friends left, afraid they would be Dylan’s next target. No one did a single thing to help.

Stephen didn’t dare to break up. He couldn’t. Every time he thought about it that afternoon would just appear in his mind, and he would stop himself from doing it.

He went to the office that Monday morning. Stephen was a designer in an office on Abbot Kinney Boulevard, between Venice and Marina Del Rey. He spent almost eleven hours at work, five days a week just so he wouldn’t have to be alone at home. When he had photoshoots to do he would just not show up to work, because he was ahead of schedule all the time, anyway.

Now? Now his camera was broken.

That was what Tony found in the trash that Monday morning. Stephen’s old camera in the trash can.

Maybe it was time to do something. 

Stephen took too long to get rid of it. It was the first camera he bought, and the only one he had. He didn’t come home early that Monday. He was stuck trying to finish an HTML, so he stayed at work for thirteen hours.

Tony arrived from Porter Ranch a little after seven-thirty pm. He had taken the day off to do some things, and now he was tired. He got home through the kitchen door, noticing that all the lights in Stephen’s house were off, so he made dinner with his door open.

Tony saw when he got home. He was by the oven next to the door cooking. They looked at each other for a second and nodded, unsure of what to say.

Tony knew what that meant. Stephen was probably alone.

Stephen found it odd when someone knocked on the office door, and he couldn’t see anyone through the glass. He opened the door to find the blue bag on the porch. Inside the bag there was a new camera and two camera lenses. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *6840 days later*  
> hello  
> I'm back and I have news  
> I've been translating the fic for 3 weeks now and I'm almost done, so I'll keep updating it often!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> Okay, enjoy!!!

Stephen was scared. He thought he would die, that someone would show up and stab him to death or something like that, and now the neighbor wasn’t there anymore. His door was closed and his lights were off. 

The neighbor.

Probably the only reasonable explanation to all of that.

The neighbor?

Why would he give Stephen two brand new lenses and a camera twice as good as his old one if they didn’t even know each other’s names? 

Who spends that much money on a stranger?

Stephen opened the box to look at it. It was a camera. It wasn’t a brick or a shelf clock. It was a real camera. He couldn’t believe it. Why?

Tony had gone to Porter Ranch to buy some things. In the town center there was a Best Buy, a Walmart, a CVS, a Bath & Body, and since he was already there he just bought the camera. It was harmless, and he had the money anyway.

Stephen learned not to care. He never had birthday parties, the tooth fairy that never came, holidays that were just dates, Christmas was just a reminder of what other families had that his family hadn’t. Feelings.

As time went by and things changed neglect came differently. Birthdays were never remembered, he didn’t have anyone to share things, feelings, moments. His friends weren’t there. Donna got the recognition, Victor had all the attention and he had nothing. Family trips never happened, romantic ones stopped too early in the relationship, because there was nothing there. They were two. The first afraid to break up, the second who loved only the control he had, the power over the younger one.

Control had replaced every other feeling Dylan had. The good moments were over. Now things were meaningless, everything was too involuntary, too unintended. It was survival mode and nothing more. Stephen thought life was like that.

He wasn’t used to all of that. With presents. Real ones, not because the person had an obligation, but because they wanted to make him happy. He smiled.

It was a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time.

He heard someone open the front door and hid the camera under some blankets in the office closet. He found Dylan halfway to the living room.

“Is everything okay?” Stephen nodded. “Babe, look…”

“I’m fine.” 

“Stephen, we need to talk.” 

“No, we don’t.” He put both hands on the counter, in the kitchen. “Where have you been?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah? With how many?”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m here to apologize.”

“Great. Apologies accepted, please just go home, I’m tired.”

“Are you sure? We can…” He held Stephen’s arms, a smile on his lips.

God, please, not tonight. 

He thought he didn’t have the energy to deal with all of that. With Dylan forcing him to do something he didn’t want to. Please, not tonight. 

Stephen heard someone knock on his door and frowned. His face worked even faster than his mind, suddenly he looked worried. What if it was the neighbor?

God, please, not tonight.

Dylan was faster. He walked to the door first, with Stephen right behind him, his heart pounding against his chest, praying to all the gods that he could pray that Dylan wouldn’t do anything to the neighbor if it was actually him.

He felt like crying.

In front of him, a polite smile on her face was Nat, the landlady. Maybe two or three years older than them she got the three houses a few years before after her grandparents passed away. It was all hers now, and she managed to be the best landlady Stephen could think off.

Behind her, maybe three meters from there, Tony was standing near the fence. 

“The problem is, Pepper, that he thinks just because he’s the director he can cut her off like that, and I am not, as the lead, gonna let that happen, so he has to make up his mind. He can have both or he can have none of us.” 

“Hey, guys! Can we talk?” He saw Dylan let her in, and they walked to the couch.

“Buck and I are changing some things, we’ve been kinda busy lately and we have some plans, so we were thinking if you, Stephen, are okay with changing the payment day to later in the month.”

“Oh, of course. Sure.” She smiled.

“Great. Maybe we can start next year, what do you think? You just ignore the date and pays me later all forty days.”

“I’ll be happy to. What are you guys doing?”

“Hm, we’re buying a house in South Africa.”

“Oh, yeah, nothing big.” She smiled. “I’ll be happy to help.”

“Thank you. I gotta go. I see you guys. I have some people to talk to.” She got up, gave Stephen a hug and left. 

The door was still open when he turned to Dylan.

“Maybe you could use the open door and leave through it, please.” Dylan closed his eyes for a second before doing it. He left. 

“Fine, I’ll be there tomorrow, just don’t expect I’ll enjoy it.” Tony said when Dylan passed through him on his way out. He felt like putting his foot in front of Dylan just to see him fall. He looked at Stephen, whose door was still open, the man watching the boyfriend leave.

(...)

Tony was late. Of course he was. He got up and brushed his teeth while packing, then he tried to get dressed while putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Stephen answered the phone call. It was a private number.

“Stephen, it’s Donna. We need to talk.” 

Tony heard the car horn outside and left the house running, one suitcase on one hand, a half-opened backpack on the other, dragging the jacket across the floor because he couldn’t hold the backpack, pick up the jacket, put his cell phone in his pocket and carry a suitcase on the other hand like that and still lock the kitchen door. He heard the horn one more time.

“I’M FUCKING GOING. IF YOU HIT THE HORN ONE MORE TIME I’LL BURY YOU IN THE FUCKING DESERT.” He yelled. When he turned around to leave he saw Stephen on the stairs, his eyes red, crying like there was no tomorrow, a cell phone in his hand. 

“TONY STARK I’LL MURDER YOU.” Pepper yelled back from the car. “IF WE MISS THIS FUCKING FLIGHT I’LL MURDER YOU.” 

Tony was hesitant. He wanted to stay. He wanted to drop all the five pounds of luggage he was carrying and hug the neighbor and listen to him and his problems, but he couldn’t.

He and Stephen exchanged a look for half a second and Tony left running, almost falling on his way to the car. He couldn’t miss the flight to San Francisco, because if he did he would miss the lecture and he was the one speaking, and he couldn’t afford to let five hundred San Francisco State students wait for him, and he definitely couldn’t afford to listen to Pepper complaining about how irresponsible he was and how big that opportunity was, so he got in the car and let her drive away.

Tony would be back in ten hours, he could talk to Stephen then. 

Stephen didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to move his arms and stop himself from crying. He watched Tony leave, his arms full, dropping things on his way to the car. And that made him cry more. He felt alone, he felt hopeless. He wanted to run like Tony was running, he wanted to take a flight to New Hope, he wanted to help, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change that. He knew it. The feeling seemed endless.

Ah, Stephen, I’m so sorry.

Stephen never felt anger, never felt jealous, he never cared that he was the outcast. He loved his siblings, he did. It was not their fault. Stephen always thought it was  _ his  _ fault.

It wasn’t

He thought about the last time he saw the younger brother. Maybe it was the last time he actually felt something. The last time he felt happy.

They were together in Pennsylvania. It was January. Stephen was home for the holidays. He remembered how things would get a hundred times better from the moment Victor would walk through the door and give him a hug. How that day Victor put his blue suitcase on the floor and threw his coat full of snow on the couch, which made Beverly yell at him. Stephen held his laugh.

He thought about the day they were outside, only the two of them, how Stephen pushed threw a snowball at him and their little snowball fight started. Victor held his face between his hands and said:

“I love you, you know that? You are the most amazing and strongest person I know and I really hope, Stephen, I really hope you find happiness in this life, because you’re my inspiration and when I graduate university I wanna be like you.” 

Stephen held himself for a second, feeling cold in the middle of the summer. He held his tears, his throat burning. 

Victor was in a hospital bed, a plastic tube down his throat trying to make him breathe.

He had left college with his friends, trying to get back home for summer and now he was between life and death. No one had hope. He was the one driving, but it wasn’t his fault. The driver slept at the wheel and there was nothing Victor could do. 

It wasn’t his fault, Stephen. It was nobody’s fault.

He looked at his phone. It was Dylan.

“Hey, are you home? I’m going.”

“You don’t have to.” Stephen used his t-shirt to clean his face. “I need to go to work.”

“You don’t have to, Stephen. You have the right to not go.”

“I need to. I have a deadline.”

“Okay, but if you need anything just call me and I’ll go pick you up, okay? I love you.” Stephen hung up without answering. He couldn’t do that now. 

The phone call came around seven pm that day. He was at work. 

It was the same number. A private one, but it wasn’t Nicola who called that time. Stephen didn’t say anything, he waited for someone to say something.

“I’m so sorry, son, I’m so sorry.” It was Beverly.

Stephen was the younger brother now.

No, no he wasn’t. Nothing would replace his younger brother. 

Not even the emptiness he felt immediately. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hello!!!  
> Hope you guys like it and I also hope y'all don't suffer much :)
> 
> I have a few things to say about this fic:  
> I wrote it back in 2016, after I came back from California. I spent three weeks there and most of the things I wrote are personal experiences, so the house is real (Tony's house is the house I stayed during those weeks, some stores are real, people I write about and the locations are also real, which is pretty cool, in my opinion.  
> This trip changed my life, changed the way I saw the world and it also turned me into one of those writers who write about the places they've been to, and I love it!  
> I'm translating the fic from my mother language to English, which is also a nice thing to do, and my characters are also being "translated" but I'm making sure I'll keep Stephen and Tony as relatable to the OG ones (whichever they might be) as possible, so I hope you guys like it!!

Stephen leaned down, pushing the black chair away from the desk and held its edges, trying to keep himself from falling, he put his head between his arms and cried. He wanted to scream.

Half his coworkers were still in the building when he leaned down and started crying, but he didn’t wanna cry around other people. Nobody went there and asked if he needed anything, they just watched for a second and turned up the volume. 

He felt a hand on his leg and another one on his back. People knew he was crying, nobody asked why.

“Come on, babe, let’s go home.” It’s Dylan. He’s there. How did he get there so fast? 

It wasn’t so fast. Stephen had been crying for way too long. So long that Dylan had time to beat the traffic from West Hollywood to Venice beach. 

“Let’s go home, love. It’s time to go home.”

Victor was dead. His younger brother. Victor. Hed watched his brother grow up, he had watched him conquer amazing things at an early age. His oldest memory was Victor. The first thing he remembered, Victor on the other side of a glass, Beverly’s hand inside the incubator, his father next to him and Donna showing them their new brother. He remembers his brother a few days after being born and now he remembers his brother a few days before his death.

Stephen wanted to be dead.

He didn’t want to be there. He wanted to hug his brother one more time. Victor was the only person he wanted to hug.

Dylan stood up and supported his back to help him get up. Stephen hugged him. He cried not caring about the loud noise. Life took away the best person in his life, what for?

“I’m sorry.” Dylan didn’t understand why Stephen was apologizing. Stephen’s tears were wetting his shirt, Stephen had to apologize.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Dylan’s hand held his head against his chest. He knew there was nothing in the world that he needed to do other than take care of Stephen, because Stephen was broken, he knew that, he just didn’t know how to deal with it most of the time. He didn’t know how to deal with his anger.

“Let’s go home, my love.” Stephen let Dylan help him get to the car, like a child that can’t walk without their mom holding his hand.

Inside the car he screamed, because it hurt. Dylan let him scream. He didn’t care. He didn’t turn on the car radio, he didn’t roll down the car window, he did nothing. He just started the car and left. 

Dylan didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he could hug Stephen, if he gave Stephen all the time he needed.

Stephen didn’t know he was there entirely, truly concerned, one hundred percent there for him.

Dylan parked the car behind the house, on Ocean Park and stayed in the car, facing the white wall. Stephen couldn’t get in the house. He helped him get out, but he felt as if he was watching Dylan’s face help him a thousand miles away from there, as if he wasn’t actually there.

Stephen stopped in front of the office door, unable to move. He felt Dylan hug him and he let himself cry on him again.

Tony passed through them in the hall and opened his door, getting in. His heart weighting a thousand pounds from seeing the neighbor cry like that.

It was like time had stopped for Tony. He had had a wonderful day, a long, tiring, amazing day, but he couldn’t put himself there anymore. It felt like another lifetime. 

He stayed in the living room, lying down on the couch, waiting for a sound, anything, in the other house. That happened until around one thirty am when he finally slept.

Stephen tried, but he couldn’t sleep. He got up in the middle of the night, walked to the corridor that connected the street to the garage and started walking in circles. He allowed himself to cry what he thought he hadn’t cried in a while. For a second he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop.

When Tony woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that his kitchen light was on he got up and saw the neighbor outside through the kitchen window. Stephen was on the floor, kneeled on the concrete, his head down, a loud cry that Tony could hear from there even with the window closed. 

He left the house and walked toward him. His hands touched Stephen’s back, who got jumpy.

“Please, please leave. Please, get out of here.” He whispered. He didn’t want to be alone, but Dylan was sleeping in his room and he didn’t want him waking up and seeing him with the neighbor outside the house in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t be pretty.

“Stephen…” The neighbor knew his name. He didn’t know the neighbor’s name. Stephen got embarrassed for a second. He knew how the neighbor had learned his name. Because of Dylan. Because of the fights.

“Please. Get in through the front door.” Stephen took a deep breath. “And leave me here.”

He had to lean in to listen to what Stephen was saying, because his voice was almost inaudible.

Tony knew he couldn’t just turn his back to someone broken. He knew he couldn’t do what Stephen was asking. He felt the need to hold him, to take care of him and not leave him alone. He had a week off. A whole week stuck inside the house with nothing to do, so he could take care of Stephen. He could put his pieces back together and it would be a nice thing to do, because Stephen seemed like he didn’t deserve that much suffering. It was too much.

“Please.” Stephen asked one more time. “I need to be alone.”

Stephen didn’t need to. He didn’t want to, but it felt like it was the right thing to say.

Tony nodded. He did what Stephen asked. He walked back to the house through the front door, not knowing why.

Dylan was home. 

When Dylan woke up, the next morning and found the bed empty he walked around the house looking for Stephen. He found him in the corridor, his back against the other house, sleeping on the concrete, his head on his own shoulder. 

Dylan took him in his arms, because he knew he couldn’t wake him up. He knew that if he did Stephen wouldn’t go back to sleep.

“Can you open the door for me?” Tony was leaving the house. He looked at a sleeping Stephen on his boyfriend’s arms and that threw him off for a second. He had slept on the corridor?

Nobody deserved a life like that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hello!!!!!  
> How's everybody doing? I hope you like this one!!

_ \- If you could replace someone here for a complete stranger who would you replace? - _

“What? No.”

“Come on, baby T. You have to answer that. You can answer or the consequence. Your shoes in the bonfire.” He looked at his brand new pair of shoes. 

“No way.” Around the bonfire Pepper, Carol, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Loki, Scott and Hope were waiting for him to do something. 

“Loki…” Loki smiled.

“The shoes. In the bonfire.”

Tony wouldn’t throw away his new shoes like that. No way. He would throw himself in it before he would throw the pair of shoes.

“What do you mean by “replace”? Is it permanent?

“No, just during the holiday.” Tony closed his eyes for a second.

“This stranger… Can I know their name?”

“No. It has to be a complete stranger.”

“Man or woman?”

“It’s up to you.”

“Carol. I would replace Carol.” The younger sister looked at him, offended.

“Worst part? You’re not replacing me for a stranger, you’re replacing me to save a pair of shoes.”

“Carol, you’re my sister. I’ve known you your entire life. These shoes are exclusive. They were literally made for me. It’s only on the holiday. I’ve been seeing you every day for eighteen years, I can’t choose anyone else.”

Carol gave him the finger. Tony blinked at her.

It was Sunday, a day before the fourth of July. They had left Los Angeles on Thursday in the afternoon, stopped to sleep in Santa Maria and kept driving along the Pacific Coast highway to the Big Sur.

Tony had thought about Stephen. The neighbor was a complete stranger and a complete mystery to him. Why not? It would be interesting to get to know him there.

Tony hadn’t heard from him in three weeks. The real Stephen, the one who used to order fast food and eat all that frozen food wasn’t there anymore. When Tony opened the garbage can outside everything he would find were peels, food scraps and real food. The real Stephen was gone and now Dylan was the one doing the cooking.

Tony also noticed that every time he decided to use the car, instead of taking the bus, Dylan’s car was there, like a permanent image behind Stephen’s car in the garage. The boyfriend would never leave. He was always there and after a while Tony started to think that he had moved in, because he would sleep there every night and the fights had stopped.

The moments they would see each other were rare now. Tony would wake up after Stephen had left with Dylan and when Tony arrived home both of them were already inside their house.

Stephen didn’t bury his brother. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t get there in time if he had gone by car and he didn’t want to take a flight there. He thought he didn’t have the strength to do it, anyways. He didn’t know how his family would react, he didn’t know if he would survive if he watched his brother’s casket being lowered into the ground like that. He definitely wouldn’t. He barely survived the idea of it.

His boyfriend was different and now Stephen felt like he was all he had.

Stephen barely recognized him. He knew it was just a phase, that everything would be back to normal, but for now things were calm. It even seemed like a real relationship, with commitment, with trust.

Dylan would take him to work and pick him up at the end of the day, he would cook, he wouldn’t touch Stephen if Stephen weren’t the one touching him first. He would stay home every night and on the weekends Stephen was the one deciding what they would do. If Stephen wanted to stay home they would. If Stephen wanted to go out they would. It was how Stephen’s life was supposed to be, not just because he lost his brother, but because he deserved it. These were small things that Dylan never did during all the years together.

Stephen felt nothing. He had realized that the relationship with Dylan was bad not only because of the abuse, but because he didn’t  _ like  _ the boyfriend. He didn’t love him. There weren’t good feelings, which was making him feel anxious all the time, especially now with Dylan following him and being with him all the time. Stephen was full of all that, he was tired of that situation. The future felt unbearable if Dylan stayed.

He knew the lack of feelings wasn’t because of Victor, but he knew deep down his relationship with Dylan meant  _ nothing. _

Tony looked at his friends. There was nothing in the world better than feeling your heart full.

He got up in silence while the others were talking and left the bonfire behind, walking away without them noticing. The deal was that they wouldn’t use their phones during the trip. No tweets, no texts, no phone calls. Maybe some pictures, but they also wouldn’t post anything on Instagram, or send any pictures to anyone, not even each other. He turned the airplane mode off and realized there was no service there.

Thinking about Stephen left him slightly worried. He wanted to call Nat to make sure Stephen was fine and that his boyfriend hadn't done anything wrong or bad, but he couldn’t call her.

He sat on the floor, near the waterfall, far from the camp, where the light of the bonfire couldn’t reach anymore and Tony had to use the flashlight to help him see. 

The problem when you think too much is that, most of the time, you end up finding yourself in a place you don’t want to be.

Tony wasn’t that happy anymore. He walked away, only God knows why, and now he felt a bit unhappy. 

How can you be happy when other people are not? How can you enjoy your fourth of July if your neighbor might be fighting with his boyfriend?

Tony couldn’t understand why, in the last month, he felt this need to protect the neighbor. He believed everyone deserved a happy life. He wanted to help people and sometimes that was bigger than wanting to help himself, but people fight with their partners all the time, they cry, they break up, their cameras break, so why with Stephen things felt so different?

The new camera was still hidden in the closet under the blankets. Stephen was afraid, with Dylan so close, that he would end up finding the present, but it was hot, Dylan had no reasons to open the closet in the office. 

Tony felt two bodies sitting next to him. He didn’t look at them.

“What’s wrong?” Hope asked. Tony kept looking ahead, to the water falling in the dark. “Tones.”

“I think… I don’t know.”

“Are you sad? Was it Loki’s question?” Tony shook his head. “Carol is joking, she knows you didn’t say it for real.”

“I know. I just wanted to think.” Hope nodded and looked at her boyfriend.

“Is there something going on?” Scott asked. Tony looked at a tree, then he looked at him. 

“I have a new neighbor. He’s been living there for three months, I think.” Hope tried to hide her smile.

“Do you like him?”

“He seems nice, but I think he’s in a bad relationship.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I think his boyfriend is violent when they fight.”

“Have you seen it?” Scott asked. Tony shook his head. I mean, he never  _ saw _ it, but sometimes you know when something is wrong. “So why do you think that?”

“They fight. A lot. I just wanted to help.” 

“You can’t help the entire world, Tones.” Maybe. But maybe he could.

“It doesn’t mean I can’t help him.” Hope closed her eyes.

“Tony, maybe he doesn’t want help. Maybe it’s the way things are.”

“You’re not saying this, are you? I mean, who would  _ want  _ an abusive relationship?”

“And what are you gonna do, Tony? Are you gonna knock on his door and play the hero? It works on tv, it doesn’t mean it will work in real life. Are you gonna call Bruce, or Thor, or Rhodey and you’re gonna beat the shit out of his boyfriend? You can’t help everyone. What happens if he truly doesn’t want help? If he tells you that this is how things are?” Tony didn’t answer. “Have you considered that if he wanted your help he would have asked?”

“Hope, come on. You know it’s not that simple. What if he can’t ask for help?’

Hope took a deep breath. Tony couldn’t see how serious the situation was. He couldn’t win all the battles in the world, it was not his fight.

“What do you know about your neighbor?”

“His name’s Stephen. He…” He stopped. What was he going to say? Everything he knew about the neighbor came, literally, from the trash. 

“So?” Tony stayed in silence. “What happens if you lose, Tones? What happens if his boyfriend beats the shit out of you? What happens to the pictures of you hurt? What are you going to say to the studio? To the producers? To your fans? Your image counts. What are we going to see on Us Weekly? ‘Tony Stark helps helpless neighbor’ or ‘Tony Stark picks up fights’? What do you think they’re gonna say?”

“It’s none of their business.”

“It is, Tony. Do you know why? Because they control you, because they’re the source of your money. What you do, the image you show counts.” He took a deep breath. He just wanted to help. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hi!!!

When they went back to the bonfire the rest of the group was talking.

“Tony is going with Rhodes.” Tony looked at them confused.

“What?” Rhodey took the car keys and moved his head. Tony followed him along the trail, to the car.

“What are we doing?” On Nason Road Tony got in the car, in the passenger seat and connected his cell phone in the charger. Rhodey gave him his phone.

“Can you find the nearest gas station?” Ten thirty pm. What did he want? “We need alcohol.”

“More?” Rhodey smiled.

“I’ve never kissed Tony Stark in a gas station.” Tony rolled his eyes. “They wanna play. So?”

“There’s one half an hour from here.” He got his own phone.

“Nat, are you ok?” he texted.

“Yeah. All good?”

“Yeah, just curious about something.” instead of texting back she called him.

“Ask away.”

“Oh, hi. Ok. Please don’t go there, but is Stephen okay?” She smiled.

“Oh, yeah, sure. He’s with Dylan, they arrived a couple minutes ago. Do you talk to him?”

“No. Not really. What do you know about them?” Nat looked at Bucky, standing behind the island in the kitchen. 

“They’re together for eight years, I guess, high school sweethearts.” 

“If you can call them that.” Tony whispered. “Sorry to bother you, thank you. I gotta go.”

“Sure, darling. No problem.” Rhodey looked at him for a second.

“Who’s Stephen?”

“Just drive, Rhodes.” 

(...)

Tony left the car. Rhodey filled up the tank and Tony entered the convenience store. He waited for Rhodey to show up and got the shopping list.

They took all the bottles they thought they would drink and all the food in the shopping list. Tony also bought more batteries, a flashlight, some chips, two portable chargers and an ice cream pint. They took the bags to the car.

“Rhodey? Do you wanna kiss me?” 

(...)

They went back to the camp. Tony sat in front of the bonfire and opened the cooler.

“Finally. Did you guys get lost?”

“The gas station was pretty far, sweetie.” Tony said, looking at Hope, sure that she was hiding a smile.

“Okay, who wants to start?” Carol raised her hand.

“I've never given the wrong number to people.” She said. Tony looked at her, speechless.

“No way.” Scott whispered. They all drank, except her. “She must be kidding.” 

“You know, you invite kids to things like this and you end up drunk.” Loki said. He was almost ten years older than Carol. She gave him the finger.

“'I've never swam naked.” Pepper said. Scott, Hope, Loki and Rhodey drank.

“I've never had to go to the hospital in an ambulance after drinking.” Thor said and watched his brother drink again.

“Good times. I almost got you arrested that night. Sweet, sweet life.” 

“I've never had sex in an elevator.” Loki said. They all looked at each other when Tony drank from his bottle.

“WHAT THE FUCK.” Pepper screamed. “WHAT? WHO? HOW? WHEN? WHERE?”

“Hm, What? sex in an elevator. Who would be with someone. It was in March and it happened in Antwerp.” She looked around. Who was in Antwerp? Tony, Thor, Loki, Bruce, Sam, some producers and the support team for the tv show.

“Do I know them?” Tony smiled. "I swear you don't tell me things anymore."

“I've never kissed anyone who I didn’t have at least some crush on.” He said. They rolled their eyes and all of them drank.

“What do you mean you've never kissed… What? You’ve never kissed a stranger?”

“Well, I usually like the people I kiss. These lips have never met a stranger before, no.”

“Virgin.” Carol joked. 

The next was Bruce.

“I've never fantasized about someone taken.” 

Tony, Scott, Loki, Sam and Pepper drank.

“I've never had friends with benefits.” Tony rolled his eyes and drank again. Rhodey, Carol and Pepper also drank. Loki watched as Rhodey and Tony exchanged a look after drinking.

“I've never had sex with other people in the same room.” Hope said. Loki and Rhodey drank.

“I've never taken a shower with someone else.” Rhodey said. Sam, Loki, Scott, Hope, Tony, Bruce and Thor drank.

Loki looked around and smiled.

“I’ve never kissed Tony Stark.” They watched as Rhodey emptied his bottle. They looked at Tony, on the other side of the bonfire watching him drink.

“OH MY GOD. The gas station is on fire.” They all laughed. 

“I’m… Gonna head to bed.” Loki said and emptied his own bottle. Of course he would, he had already ruined what could have been a well-kept secret anyway. “Have a good night, cuties.”

They all went to bed with time, and Tony and Rhodey stayed. He walked to the cooler, grabbed a bag of marshmallows and put them in a stick.

He sat next to Rhodey.

“Do you want some?” Rhodey didn’t answer. “Are you drunk?”

“I’m fine.” Tony nodded. “Look, Tones…”

“No regrets, Rhodes, remember?” Rhodey nodded. He kneeled in front of Tony, between his legs and kissed him. 

(...)

Stephen went back home earlier on the fifth. Dylan was supposed to pick him up, but he just ignored that fact and took a bus back home a little after three pm. He slept on the sofa, a green blanket over his body.

Dylan tried to call. 

After the third attempt he gave up. He had to let Stephen know that he wouldn’t sleep there that night. 

When Stephen woke up, around seven pm that night he didn’t bother calling him back. He got up, walked to the kitchen and tried to find something to eat. There was nothing. So he took ten dollars in his wallet and left home locking the side door.

Down Ocean Park, on Lincoln Boulevard, a third of a mile away from where he lived there was a Mc Donald’s. He bought enough food to survive the night that he would probably spend awake and went back home.

Stephen wouldn’t ask for an explanation. Dylan wouldn’t give him one, anyway. The good phase was over. He was tired. Dylan had to go back to his life, to the life he had before everything that happened with Victor.

He wouldn't be at work like he said he would, he wouldn’t be stuck in traffic or even in his apartment in West Hollywood.

The Golden Gopher is located about a mile away from the Staples Center, in the south of the Financial District in Downtown LA. 

You can drink, you can find someone, meet someone and you don’t have to think about taking this person home with you, you can just go upstairs to the motel above the bar, where Dylan pays in cash.

If you don’t want the uncertainty that the red neon lights bring you, or the calmness inside, with a counter full of half empty bottles of alcohol and the old worn out pool table you can cross the 8th Street and enter a nightclub on Hill Street, The Vault, less than one hundred meters away from Golden Gopher and enjoy the best Los Angeles has to offer in two different dance floors.

If you find someone at The Vault and want to take them out of there, there's a hotel a little cleaner and tidier next to the Golden Gopher. 

Dylan was at the Golden Gopher that night. He didn’t know what to expect, but he was sure that it would be someone completely different from his boyfriend.

Stephen thought he had everything under control that night, but when you’re home alone, in the middle of the night, with nothing better to do you seem to lose control of everything you had. 

He didn’t want to feel sad. He was finally better. He finally had a night free from someone he didn’t want to be near, so he couldn’t waste it. Everything was still too recent, but Dylan never helped him get better, he just pushed the feelings deeper inside Stephen, because Stephen stopped allowing him to get in on the third night after everything, he stopped showing or telling Dylan what he was feeling. 

Stephen did something he was desperate to do since before Victor’s death. He got the camera and analized it in his hands. Inside the box there was a third pair of lenses. 

It was unbelievable. Stephen looked at the object, his eyes exploding in admiration. He got the forty millimeters lenses and took a picture of his closet. The first picture he took with it. It was impressive how amazing he felt holding those two pounds of technology in his hands. What had he done to deserve it? That's what he couldn't understand.

He wanted to see more. He wanted to explore every corner in Los Angeles, he wanted to explore every inch of those lenses as much as possible, but inside his house he thought he couldn't. He had to find the right moment, he had to make sure that Dylan wouldn't be around, so he would walk every meter from Venice to Malibu like an avid tourist.

It was a little after three am on Wednesday when Tony dropped his luggage on the floor at the side entrance, trying to find his keys, what woke Stephen up, who was sleeping on the couch in the office.

The neighbor was back. Stephen didn't move. With his eyes widened he stayed in the dark listening.

"Shhhhhh, you're gonna wake everybody." Sam said. 'Too late' Stephen thought.

"Thank you for the ride, babe." He heard what he thought was the neighbor's voice. "Do you wanna come in?"

"I'm going home, Hollywood. But thanks." It was Rhodes. Tony nodded. He had finished all the bottles from the holiday in the car, on their way back to Los Angeles, because Rhodey was busy driving, Carol and Sam were sleeping in the backseat so he got a little bored.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Rhodey nodded and left.

"You falling in love or what?" Sam asked, when Rhodey was already far from there. Tony gave him the finger.

Carol was on the stairs, her head against the wall, half awake, half asleep, waiting for her brother to open the door so she could get some proper sleep.

"Did you guys have sex?" Sam asked, and Tony laughed loud. It's not like Stephen wanted to hear the conversation, it's just that they were right there and he was next to the window, so he could hear everything.

Tony tried to open the door with the wrong key, insisting that that was the right one. 

"In the river." Tony said, casually.

"To someone who doesn't kiss strangers having sex with Rhodes in the river… that's evolving."

"He's one of my best friends. Again, I don't kiss strangers." Carol lost patience. She pushed Tony away from the door, which made him lose balance and trip over his suitcase. He hit his back against Stephen’s door.

“HEY!” He yelled. Then he turned his body, touched Stephen’s door with his hands and said:

“I’m sorry, Stepheyy” and in his head that had been a whisper, but it was way too loud. Stephen got a little scared because of the noise, but he smiled with Tony apologizing. 

Carol found the lock and opened the door, pulling Tony inside.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it!!! It's time to begin this whole thing, so next chapter is gonna be 💕💕💕💕   
> or maybe not :)


	8. Chapter 8

Tony was angry. He wanted to cry for a bit, then he wanted to roll to his side and sleep for another hour. He closed his eyes. California was way too bright in the summer. 

He got up and grumbled on his way to the kitchen, shirtless. It was time to buy food again.

The milk was expired.

“CAROL, YOU DRANK THE GOOD MILK AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO IT ONE MORE TIME I’M SENDING YOU BACK TO SANDY POINT.” He opened the other bedroom door, the one Carol was using. She and Sam were still sleeping on the two single beds in the room.

In the office, a few feet from Tony’s fridge, Stephen raised his head and walked to his own fridge. He got the bottle of milk, still untouched, that Dylan had bought the morning before and went to the neighbor’s door. He left the milk in front of the kitchen door, knocked, and got in his office running. 

Tony heard the knock, closed the bedroom door and walked to the kitchen. He saw nothing through the glass but opened the door anyway just to find the bottle of milk in front of it.

He laughed.

He was glad, because now he wouldn’t have to go to the supermarket four hundred meters from there, on the corner of Lincoln and Ocean Park, and god only knows how walking hungover on a hot day in Santa Monica would make him feel.

Stephen didn’t go to work. He stayed there, working on the website. 

He got all his trash bags and he and Tony coincidentally left their houses together. 

“Hey. Thank you for the milk.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Thank you for the camera.” 

‘What camera?” Tony smiled. They both went to the garbage can and threw their trash bags there. Tony smiled when, through the corner of his eye he saw the Mc Donald’s packages. 

“What?” Stephen looked at him confused.

“Nothing, I just thought about something. What are you doing here?”

“I live here.” Tony nodded.

“Work?” Stephen’s expression changed.

“Oh, I’m working from home today.” He stopped for a second. “You never told me your name.”

“Tony.” 

“I’m Stephen.” Tony nodded. He knew that already.

Stephen looked over his shoulder and took a deep breath. Tony looked to the sidewalk, to the entrance of the corridor.

Dylan was walking to the house. Tony closed the trash can and Stephen did the same. Both of them looked like they were there just to take out the trash.

“Fuck” Stephen whispered under his breath. “I’ll help you with that.”

“Stephen…” Tony mumbled. “Don’t”

“It doesn’t matter.” He said. They pushed the cans to the sidewalk, passing next to Dylan, who waited for Stephen in the corridor.

Tony left the garbage can on the sidewalk and walked back home first, leaving Stephen behind. Dylan watched him pass next to him and get in.

Stephen walked next to him as well, completely ignoring the boyfriend and got inside his office, closing the door behind him. Tony took a deep breath. He knew what was about to happen.

“What was that?” Stephen rolled his eyes. 

“That was me taking out the trash in my house. It’s my trash, Dylan.”

“Don’t you have schedules for that?”

“Shut up.” He said, and closed his eyes. There was nothing he could do now anyway. “SHUT UP.”

Tony closed his eyes when he heard Stephen’s voice. Carol was at the door now, about to wish Tony a good morning.

“What was that?” Tony got up, his blood rushing through his veins, agitated.

“I gotta go for a walk.” 

“Don’t talk to me like that.” Dylan pointed his finger to him.

“Shut up.” Stephen swallowed dryly. He saw Dylan’s hand in the air.

He was afraid now. He didn’t know what he was thinking, but it was just the fucking trash, and now Dylan would hit him because of it. It was just the trash. 

“Dylan… I…” Stephen shrugged, afraid, knowing that shrugging his body wouldn’t save him from what was about to come. 

“DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Dylan yelled.

“I’M THE FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU LEFT LAST NIGHT TO FUCK SOMEONE ELSE.” Stephen said.Tony was already walking up the street to the bus stop. Stephen didn't know why he was doing that, why, suddenly he had decided to stand up for himself, but there he was and there was no turning back, the words had already been spoken. 

*****TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE*****

Carol and Sam looked at each other. 

Stephen lost balance when Dylan’s hand hit his face in a slap. He leaned his back against the wall, breathing fast and he felt like he was about to pass out. Dylan held his face, his index finger and his thumb squeezing his lips. 

“Don’t talk to me like that, babe. I do everything for you.” He said, and let go of his face harshly, which made Stephen hit his head on the wall. 

Stephen felt humiliated. He couldn’t stand up for himself, not the way he wanted to, anyways. WHY NOT? He felt disgusted. Dylan’s perfume was awful, and Stephen was sure it wasn’t his.

Stephen didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to cry. He swallowed the pain watching him go around the apartment and get his clothes, and he stayed there unable to move when Dylan got close to him and forced him into a kiss.

*****END OF TRIGGER WARNING*****

“I’ll give you time to think about what you did.” Stephen didn’t answer. He stayed there, his face burning, his heart beating a million miles an hour, his entire body numb and the only thing that kept him standing was the adrenaline running through his veins. 

Dylan left, and when he left it took Stephen a second to understand he was safe, that if he fell to the ground Dylan wouldn’t kick him or anything, so he did. He stayed on the floor, crying, leaning down in an attempt to help him breathe, his entire body shaking in humiliation.

It took him almost forty minutes to stop the tears and get his lungs to work properly again, to control the rapidly breathing, and he felt like not moving.

One hour after the fight he heard someone walking on the side entrance.

“Tony?” He asked, in almost a whisper. If Tony weren’t paying attention he wouldn’t have heard him, but Tony was, because that was what he used to do after leaving the house to run away from their fight, he would pay attention, he would get in his own house as quiet as possible, focusing on the other house to make sure nothing bad had happened.

“Yeah.” Tony waited for something else. For a grunt, a sound, anything, but there was only silence. “Stephen?”

Stephen thought for a second. Tony waited by his door, facing the doorknob, unsure if he should get in or not.

He couldn’t see Stephen from there, so he was a little worried. 

“Tony…” Stephen stopped himself again. Something inside him wanted to open up, wanted to be vulnerable, something inside him wanted to let someone in, be friends with someone, have someone to be there for him, but there was another thing. There was fear. Fear of judgement, fear of being vulnerable, fear that Dylan would come back and see Tony there.

“Stephen, what’s wrong?” Stephen took a deep breath. “Can I come in?”

Stephen closed his eyes. That’s what he wanted. He wanted to not be alone for that one. He wanted to not be alone for the rest of the day, he wanted to find a distraction, because at some point he was sure he would start crying again, because a random thought would come and others would follow and he just… He was tired of crying for the same reasons, tired of crying because the same thoughts would appear when he was already okay, when he already had stopped crying. 

“Yes, yeah. Please.” Tony opened the door to find Stephen on the floor, his head on the couch, a single tear falling off his left eye. And there it was. Humiliation.

The thought of Tony looking at him during his lowest moment. During his most vulnerable and delicate moment. And when Tony kneeled in front of him and raised his hand to touch Stephen’s face, the man flinched. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Tony raised his hands, showing his palms. “I won’t hurt you.” Stephen was crying. “Hey, you’re safe, it’s okay.” 

He offered Stephen his hand, which the man grabbed gently. Stephen touched his hands, his wrists, his arms, and when Tony realized Stephen was hugging him.

“I’m sorry.” Stephen whispered. He didn’t have to apologize, there was nothing to apologize.

Tony’s arms were a good place to cry. That was what Stephen thought. Better than the couch, better than the floor. 

There was something about the warmth of Tony's body that just made the tears leave his eyes, faster, stronger, and before Stephen could do something about it he was crying desperately in his neighbor's arms.

“We need to lock the doors.” Stephen whispered.

“Don’t think about the doors, Stephen, come on. It’s okay.” Tony ignored the pain he was feeling on his kalf, which was also a little numb and stayed there. There were other pains more important than that one. 

Stephen was embarrassed. He had a running nose, his tears were wetting Tony’s t-shirt and he couldn’t find a way to stop crying. The tears running down his face were a relief. They helped with the pain he felt on his face.

Tony’s hand slowly found the way to Stephen’s hair, gently stroking the hair in the back of Stephen’s head. 

“I’m sorry.” Stephen said, again. He had this thing. He would always apologize if he was crying on someone’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s fine.” Tony felt him getting calmer. “Can I know you?”

Stephen didn’t answer. He never had anyone carrying about him. Actually, he had, but that was a lifetime ago, and having someone now would mean giving them a life they wouldn’t want. His cry intensified again, because having someone, the idea of someone carrying was new, was great, and it wouldn’t happen.

The world was unfair. Stephen didn’t deserve it. He deserved everything Tony had to offer. He deserved everything Tony would do to make him happy, without thinking about the consequences. He deserved Tony. And Tony needed to deserve him, because he didn’t think he was good enough for that.

If you want to help someone there’s not much you need to do, you just need to be there, you need to be around and you need to keep them close. You need to be patient, you need to give them new things, everything new. New adventures, new experiences, new people. But no matter what you do, they always come first. At least that’s what Tony thought. If he wanted to help Stephen he would have to be around, to change all his broken pieces with new ones.

Tony knew that. Tony knew that he wouldn’t just fix him overnight, he knew that Stephen wouldn’t get up after that hug and just be a different person. He needed time, and he would be more than happy if he could give Stephen his time. 

Stephen kept thinking about his words. ' _Can I know you?_ ' because he couldn’t believe Tony was willing to put himself in harm's way just because of him. Nobody did that. Not even his friends. Not even the people he thought would be with him till the end. When his friends in New Hope saw what Dylan was capable of they all left, one by one, until there was no one left. 

Stephen tried to breath again, slowly, like someone once taught him, letting the air get in through your nose and exhaling through his mouth. 

“Are you thirsty? Come on, let’s put some ice on your face, okay?” Stephen nodded. He breathed one more time and Tony helped him get up, despite the fact that his legs were barely functioning. Tony put the hand on his face, trying to put away the tears and Stephen let him, this time. He pulled him to the kitchen, like he knew where everything was and grabbed a pack of frozen peas in the freezer. 

“Have you been here before?” Tony smiled. Stephen sat on the counter and put the package on his face. “Thank you.” Tony found an empty glass, filled it with water and gave the cup to him. Stephen let him hold the package on his face for a second.

“I wanted the house. The deal was that after they finished refurbishing I would move here. George, the contractor, would let me get in while he was working and I would just dream about the things I would do, where I would put the furniture.”

“I’m sorry I took the house.” Tony smiled at him.

“From now on I don’t think that matters, plus I really liked what you did with the place.” Tony said, looking around. He could see the grey sofa, the yellow rug and the bookshelves from there. The tv over the fireplace, the Christmas lights outside and some party flags hanging outside as well.

“Why? Why are you doing this?” Stephen asked, getting the package from his hands. There it was. Him putting some distance between them. 

“Why do you need a reason?” Tony asked, simply. “I just want to. Look at you, you’re great, and you don’t even want people around. Why don’t you?”

“Who would want this, Tony? This life? This?” She showed Tony the red bruise on his face. 

“I’m not being friends with your boyfriend, I’m trying to be friends with you.” 


	9. A closeness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH crazy past few days I had!!!  
> Hope y'all are good!!!  
> So, one thing I need to say is that their first day together lasts about five chapters, so I hope you like it!

**A solid embrace, kind face**

**and then the hurt starts leaving the room**

The couch was big enough for the two of them, but something about saying yes to Tony made him want to lean on him, and that’s what he did. Tony had his legs crossed on the couch, and Stephen had his body against Tony’s, his head on his chest. He felt comfortable sharing his space with someone else.

Stephen asked to be there. As innocent as he could be he asked Tony if he could lean his body on Tony’s body, and in the innocence of someone who wants to be the glue, Tony said yes.

They were in silence. Tony’s left hand was on his stomach and his right hand was stroking Stephen’s hair gently. Tony wanted to be there, and just like the night Victor died, Stephen wanted him to be there.

The image of Dylan beating Aaron up many years before was in his mind now, and he could see it happening to Tony. He could see it vividly, the anger, the fist, the pain. His heart started beating fast, so he put his arms around Tony and let the steadiness of Tony’s heart calm him down.

If he was crossing a line being that close to someone he barely knew he didn’t care, because at least he wasn’t alone anymore. He would have time to regret that closeness later.

If you looked at them that Wednesday afternoon you would probably think they were a couple enjoying each other’s company. Except Stephen had a boyfriend. A terrible, awful boyfriend. Except Stephen had lost hope on feeling good ever again, of having a normal, healthy relationship. Except they were worlds apart, each one of them different, each one with their own things. Except they wouldn’t attract each other, not in that moment. 

Tony closed his eyes and put his chin on Stephen’s head. At some point that afternoon they slept. Stephen because crying would make him sleepy, Tony because he was still a little hungover from the night before. 

Stephen woke up suddenly. Tony's voice woke him up. He thought, when he heard it, that Dylan was back and that they were talking, somehow. 

He got up, his left hand on Tony’s torso, supporting his weight there. He looked around, trying to find someone else, trying to find Dylan.

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s my sister on the phone.” Carol frowned. “It’s fine, I’m sorry.”

“Who’s that? It’s not Rhodey, is it? I swear to god we’re gonna talk about it.”

“Listen, I gotta go, Carol. Bye.” He didn’t wait for her to say something, he simply hung up. 

“I thought he…” Tony smiled at him, gently.

“It’s fine, Stephen. Don’t worry. We’re fine. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, I kinda haven’t eaten yet.” Tony looked at him, his mouth slightly open.  “Maybe some breakfast?”

“Oh, you’ve read my mind. Denny’s?” Stephen smiled. A salted caramel and banana cream pancake sounded amazing. Maybe a mango smoothie and a veggie omelette, too.

“Fine by me. There’s a guy at Denny’s on Colorado that always brings us more than what we ordered. At first I thought it was because he had recognized…” Tony stopped himself. Keep talking would mean that he would have to explain to Stephen why the guy at Denny's had recognized him and for now he didn't want to say anything. He gave his phone to Stephen, so the man could select everything he wanted on the website and ordered it. r

“I’ve never been there.” Stephen said. Tony frowned.

“It’s like six blocks from here.” Stephen nodded. “How long have you been here?”

“I just don’t like walking around. How long have  _ you _ been?”

“I have some free time sometimes. And I like walking around.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m from here. Born in LA, raised in Sandy Point, Australia. You?”

“New Hope, Pennsylvania.” Stephen looked at him and before Tony could make the joke he said: “There’s no hope there. Old or new. New Hope is where dreams go to die.”  Tony smiled. “Australia, cool.”

“Well, the idea of the country is nice, but don’t think it’s that cool. I lived in a 200-inhabitant something, we can't call it a city, I don't even think we can call it a village, and we had  _ one  _ market, and nothing ever happened, and when it happened the whole place would find out about it.” Stephen smiled. “What are you gonna do now?”

“What do you mean?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

“You have to do something about  _ him.” _

"It doesn’t matter, Tony. It would only make things worse. Besides, he’s going away for a while. If I’m lucky he’s not coming back before his trip.”

“He’s leaving?”

“He’s going back to Penn. He has a mom there who, apparently, needs him, so he’s taking a few weeks to be with her. I honestly doubt it, I don't think that's entirely true, I just think he's trying to run away so he won't have to be around for a while, at least not after everything that happened in the last few weeks.”

“So you’re free?” Stephen shrug. 

“Maybe twenty days.”

“Why aren’t you going?” Stephen looked away for a second and got up.

“It’s not time to go. It’s complicated, I’m not ready.” Tony nodded. He stayed in silence because he thought if Stephen wanted to tell him what ‘complicated’ meant he would.

“Can you give me one second?” He asked, when his phone rang. He got up and walked to the office. “Hey.”

“Hey. You texted. What’s up?”

“I need make up.” Hope frowned. “Your skin tone is good.” 

“Why?”

“Maybe we should go out for lunch tomorrow.”

“Fine by me. Why?”

“Can you bring it now? I’m at home.”

“Sure. Why?” He ignored her. He knew that he couldn't talk out loud about it, that he would have to talk to her privately. "Tony?"

"Thank you, Hope. I love you."

"You're unberable."

“I know. I love you. Thank you. I see you later.” 

"Bye, Tony." She hung up. He went back to the living room. Stephen was on the couch, his legs crossed. 

“Do you want to do something later?” Tony asked, getting in the room. Stephen raised his eyes to look at him. “I’ll understand if you don’t, I just thought we could… Walk around.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just…” Stephen showed him his red cheek. “I don’t want other people to see it”

“I have a friend. She’s bringing me some things.” 

“Tony, please, I don’t want anyone involved. I don’t even know why I called you in the first place, I…”

“Hey, she doesn’t know. She doesn’t have to know, She’s gonna bring me things, we can think about something to do and we can hang out.” Stephen nodded.

“Great, What do you like to do?” 

“I don’t know.” Stephen admitted. It was a little embarrassing. What had he done in Los Angeles since he moved there? He went home from work, to the supermarket, he would walk around a bit to take pictures. What would they do on a Wednesday?

Stephen knew nothing. The only place in Los Angeles he knew was also visited by his abusive boyfriend. The Golden Gopher. And he didn’t need to be seen with Tony in a bar where his boyfriend used to go almost every night.

Tony didn’t know what to suggest because he didn’t know Stephen. Would they go out to drink? Stephen never drank, because every time Dylan drank he would get a thousand times worse and would hit him, so Stephen promised he would never drink. 

Would they go to the pier? Tony didn’t want to go to the pier so early at night with Stephen, because they could meet a fan and Stephen would become a rumor. No, they couldn’t go to the pier.

Santa Monica Place? Too public, and just like the promenade or the pier it wouldn’t be comfortable to them both. 

Tony loved 3rd Street Promenade. He used to go and he would walk around the promenade, trying to find anything new to buy, he would watch the street artists, meet some fans, would have dinner in the bistrot with his castmates, but what would he and Stephen do there?

Going out with his friends was easy. Scott and Hope, Carol, the people from the show., but him, alone, with another man who he had just met and with such a complicated relationship?

Tony had an idea. Usually the Santa Monica Place closed at nine pm, so people would leave the place around this time, but two things would be open after that hour. The Cheesecake Factory and the ArcLight. 

Why not? It would be more comfortable to Stephen, because it wouldn’t require any contact with anyone else, Tony could park his car in the parking lot downstairs and they could take the elevator to the third floor and their chances to be seen would be smaller. They could even eat some frozen yogurt down the street, and Tony was already trying to find an opportunity to watch the movie, anyway.

There was no mistake. You can take someone to dinner, to a theme park, to a concert and people could see it as a date. For Tony movies were too cheap and casual to be considered real dates. Not the ArcLight, but usually they were too cheap.

Another advantage about the movies was that there was no pressure to talk. Silence was comfortable between them, sure, but how long would that last? Tony wasn’t sure. If they were watching the movie they would be together and would still be in silence and silence wouldn’t stop being comfortable.

Tony would always picture another situation. The two of them walking around. They talk about their careers, their families, their favorite places, their best childhood memory, the two of them laugh, and then both realize there's nothing else to be said, the car is too far, there’s nothing else to eat, nothing around them to help Tony start a new conversation… The living room silence, the comfortable one, even that silence that survived while they were on the couch together is gone, and it’s in that moment that Stephen starts regretting sleeping on the chest of someone he barely knows, and it’s when he starts panicking with the idea of Dylan finding out that he’s with another person. No, that couldn’t happen. Tony was sure of that. 

There, in the living room, silence was a good thing.

Stephen jumped out of the couch when he heard someone knock on his front door. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HELLOOO  
> I'm so sorry it's been a while!!!! I hope everyone is okay and all. This one was a little difficult for me to write for obvious reasons, but I hope y'all like it!

**But let me hold you and tell you what I see  
You are the light of the day**

**(Good as Gold - Greyson Chance)**

Stephen was a little desperate. Tony tried to keep himself together, but he was also worried. If it was Dylan then things could get ugly. Stephen’s heart was beating so fast he thought he could die.

“He’s gonna kill me.” Stephen whispered. “What do I do? Tony…” His breathing was uneven. “What if he knows you’re here?”

“Hey, take a deep breath. We’ll be fine. Deep breath.” Stephen nodded, a little scared. “I’ll hide in the boiler room, we’ll be fine.” Stephen nodded. He watched Tony get in the small room between the hallway and the kitchen. The boiler room was room to a boiler big enough to feed the three houses. Stephen’s, Tony’s and their upstairs neighbor, but nothing more than that. That’s why when Tony got in he had to put himself against the wall, trying to not touch the white cylinder. The door was closed, he was in the dark, waiting for any sign of Dylan. What would happen if Dylan decided to sleep there? Tony couldn’t even turn his body. He had his back against the wall, his chin on his shoulder, trying to avoid the machine in front of him. 

The place was hot. Way too hot. Tony wanted to leave. He closed his eyes because he could have left through the office door and waited for any sign from Stephen by his kitchen door, but no, he had to play the hero, and now he thought he might die. 

He took a deep breath, because he couldn’t reach his pho… HIS PHONE! His phone was next to the couch, on the coffee table. 

His. Phone. Was. In. The. Living. Room.

That was when things seemed one hundred degrees hotter. It felt like an entire day sitting on the concrete in downtown Los Angeles in July, but it was like all that heat had touched him at once. His heart beat stronger with the thought of Stephen and Dylan there and their phones on the coffee table. 

Stephen took a deep breath and smelled his own clothes. Fuck. It wasn’t his smell, it was Tony’s. It was a good smell, but it wasn’t his. 

He took off his shirt and threw it in the kitchen sink. If Dylan would ask him what his shirt was doing in the sink he didn’t care. He looked at the Boiler room’s door and walked to the door, prepared to have his face hit again. He turned the doorknob and opened it, his mouth open, about to say something.

“Anthony Carbonell?” Stephen frowned for a second, before realizing. The man was wearing a coral shirt with a yellow logo, a yellow cap, a red logo with ‘Denny’s’ on both.

“Just a minute.” He turned to the house. “TONY.” Inside the boiler room Tony felt like he was about to faint. He stretched his arm and opened the door, leaving the boiler room behind. There was no one around. He walked to the front door, where Stephen was standing, shirtless, his back to him. The first thing Tony noticed was a couple of scars on his back, crossing each other. And his back… Oh, wow, his back!

He put himself next to Stephen, trying to look outside, only to find the Denny’s employee waiting for him.

“Oh, it’s food.” Tony laughed, relieved. “Oh, wow.” he took ten dollars from his wallet and gave it to the man, who gave their bags of food. “Thank you. So good to see you.” Stephen held his laugh.

“Have a good one.” The man said, and left. Stephen and Tony looked at each other for a second, a smile of relief on their lips. 

“You’re shirtless.” Tony raised his eyebrows. 

“My shirt smelled like you.” Stephen said, simply. “Mr. Carbonell?” Tony laughed.

“That’s not my real name. It’s… Complicated. It’s my mom’s single name.” 

“Why? Are you a serial killer?” Tony laughed. He wasn’t. He was famous, and being famous meant he wouldn’t have a friend. It meant Stephen would try to leave, and he didn’t want that.

“If I were…” Stephen laughed. “Yeah, don’t worry. My phone was in the living room. I thought for a second your boyfriend would find it there.” Tony said, putting the bags on the counter. 

“I’ll be right back.” Tony watched Stephen disappear to his room, staring at his back again, the scars crossing one another, and Stephen came back wearing a new t-shirt. 

“So, have you decided what we’re doing later today?’ Stephen asked, and Tony nodded. 

You can never eat a Denny’s meal alone. Stephen and Tony had ordered four. The leftovers were in the fridge and they were back on the couch. 

Tony’s right foot was under his left leg, one arm over the back of the couch, facing Stephen, who was facing the wall, cross-legged.

“What are you thinking about?” Tony asked. Stephen was holding his milkshake cup in his hands.

“I’m wondering how you’re not tired of me yet, why you haven’t left and why you’re looking at me.” Tony smiled.

“I like you. Why would I leave? Do you want me to leave?” Stephen shook his head. “Do you wanna know what I’m thinking?” Stephen looked at him. “Why would he hurt someone like you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone pretty, shy, scared…” Stephen wasn’t sure if they were compliments. They weren’t. It was the truth, what Tony saw. Someone pretty, someone who never opened up, who never got involved, someone afraid of consequences, afraid of new perspectives, afraid to live. It was easy to notice. He noticed when he opened his door, he noticed in all the gestures and in everything Stephen had said that day. It was everywhere, even in his trash.

“Look at me.” Tony watched him get closer, still cross-legged, but now he was facing Tony. “What is missing for you?” He asked. Stephen put his head on the back of the couch just like Tony.

“What?”

“You. What do you think is missing? Why don’t you let me in?” Stephen exhaled. “What are the scars on your back? Did he do this to you?” 

“It’s my gay mark.” Stephen said, simply. He knew Tony would see it, he just didn’t think he would ask about it. 

“What?”

“It’s my constant reminder. My dad did it. He went to my room that day to call me for dinner and when he opened the door without knocking I was kissing a boy. We were supposed to be studying biology. I was sixteen. My back was facing the door, he hit me. He was holding a knife, I don’t know, I know that he saw his gay son kissing a boy and he hit me, and the knife hit my back twice, and he cut me. I don’t know if it was an accident, I don’t know if he wanted to, I don’t know if he suspected and took the knife to my room on purpose, all I know is that…” Tony was looking at him, to the man with two tears in his eyes. “He left me there, bleeding. He left me, Tony. He didn’t say a word, he just took off. Dylan took me to the hospital. He was the one in my house that day. He was the boy I was kissing. He drove me home around two am that day, I packed my things and I spent a few weeks in his house.” 

“You've been together ever since?” Stephen smiled. It sounded so simple coming from Tony’s mouth.

“We took some classes together that summer, before senior year, and we dated in secret for an entire year. Nobody knew. Of course not. It was the typical story 'nobody can know I’m gay.'. Nobody could know he was a fag.”

“Stephen…” Stephen shook his head. 

“We used to date in his car, so no one would know, or we would drive to Trenton to date in public, because no one could know. It was like this, you know? We finished senior year, so we went together to college and everything changed. I was… A new person. I wasn’t the fag he used to date, he never let me be. I would drink, I would do everything I thought would make me look cool, so he wouldn’t fight me, so he wouldn’t hit me.” Stephen closed his eyes. He didn’t know the difference between being vulnerable and being weak. “He started hitting me after we got accepted into college. It’s funny, if he had done it before I would have never gone with him, never, but I was in Pitt, no friends, no family, a family that didn’t even accept me in the first place, and my boyfriend was hitting me. What was I supposed to do?” Stephen looked down, to not look in Tony’s eyes as he continued. “During high school he would yell at me in public, so people wouldn’t know. He would say whatever he wanted, and I let him.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Stephen shrugged.

“I graduated college, packed my bags and moved to LA and he followed me. He was the only boyfriend I had and he is the only person I have. I don’t know how things would be without him, Tony.”

“That’s not fair.” Stephen smiled.

“What is? Life? No, not at all. I have what life gave me, Tony. You learn with your mistakes. Today I learned that you don’t ask your boyfriend to shut up. You don’t correct him in front of his friends, you don’t tell him he had too much to drink and that you’ll sleep on the couch, you don’t tell him you don’t wanna have sex, you don’t tell him you have a headache and don’t wanna blow him, you’ll do it anyway, what’s the point? You don’t take pictures of clients wearing only underwear, he’s gonna break your camera. We can talk about life lessons all night, Tony,”

Tony was in silence. That was… Absurd. He was angry, more than he thought he could be. How could someone… He couldn’t think straight. He really thought he had never been that angry. His heart was racing, his hands were a little shaky and he couldn’t control that feeling inside of him. If he had thought about wolves eating Dylan alive before now he wanted to be the wolf. 

He held Stephen’s hand. “Look, I don’t know if you want it or not, but if you ever need me I’m right there, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Just call me, whenever you need me.” 


	11. Chapter 11

Tony heard a car stop in the corridor next to the house. 

“Tony?” It was Hope. He looked at Stephen and got up. He went to the office and left. Hope turned, finding Tony coming out of the other house. “What…”

“Just…” He got the little bag from her hands. “Tomorrow, one pm?”

She nodded.

“Thank you so much, I love you.” She winked. “I’ll pay you tomorrow.”

“We’re at Scott’s. Do you wanna come over?”

“We have plans, but thank you. I don’t think he would be comfortable.” Hope nodded.

“Take care, Stark.” He smiled and closed the door once she turned to go back to her car. 

Tony went back to the living room, a small bag full of makeup in his hand.

“It’s seven ten. We can get dressed and I’ll meet you here at eight?” Stephen nodded. “If you need anything just knock.” 

“You too.” Tony went back to his house.

Stephen stood up in his shower, letting the cold water touch his body, his hair on his forehead, his heart beating fast. The day had been like that, full of intensity, full of fast heartbeats. Was that the feeling of having a good day? Was that the feeling of having someone who truly cared? If it was… Stephen couldn’t get enough of it.

Tony got in the shower and closed the window. He had learned. On one of his first days inside the house he forgot the window opened and ended up finding his other neighbor staring at his naked butt while he washed his head. Now he had to make sure he closed the window before taking off his clothes.

Stephen touched his face, trying to put his hand over Dylan’s mark. 

What’s missing, Stephen?

What was missing? Courage? Someone? Accepting that that wasn’t the life he deserved to live? What is missing?

Stephen could stay there thinking about everything that was missing in those twenty-five years of life, but that would take too long. He could organize everything in alphabetical order, in chronological order, or in relevance, but that would take his whole night.

Tony opened his wardrobe door and looked inside. It was just a movie.

It was a two-hour movie with someone handsome.

It was a two-hour movie with someone who had a boyfriend.

Stephen looked excited at his closet. The blue and white t-shirt or the brown jacket? Dark jeans or a light one? Why did he have so many clothes? When did that happen?

(...)

“So, when did you learn how to do makeup?” Stephen asked, sitting on the chair. He had his head leaned back, his eyes closed, and he could feel Tony spreading something on his face with a makeup brush. If Tony were doing something wrong he wouldn’t know. He just decided to trust him.

“My sister used to train on my face. I just liked to pay attention.” 

“A sister.” Tony nodded.

“Carol. It’s the two of us now. My parents adopted her when we moved to Sandy Point. She’s eighteen. What about you?”

“We’re in three. I don’t talk to them, not anymore.” Stephen admitted. He hadn’t heard about the family in a while. The last call had happened on June fourteenth that year, three weeks before. Exact twenty-two days before. And Stephen was counting.

Tony stayed in silence. He felt he had ruined everything, when he just wanted to do small talk.

“It worked.” He said, and Stephen looked at him. He smiled. He got up from the chair, looked himself in the mirror in the office and smiled. There was no sign that he had been hit. Tony closed everything and cleaned his hands. “Are you ready? We can go.”

Stephen nodded. He followed Tony to the car. The silence was there again. Good, calm, comfortable.

Tony turned off the radio when he heard “This autumn, the Risen comes back to our screens with a…” and smiled.

He was on the radio. I mean, not only him, but it was his show after all. He was the lead. That night wasn’t about how he got there, that was a night about Stephen, and how Tony would do everything in his power to make him feel better. Why he was on the radio, or on tv for that matter, how he had got relatively famous, or where he got his money from wouldn't matter.

"I don't like talk shows." Tony explained simply and he felt kinda dumb. Of course he liked it, especially if the talk show had his tv show on it. 

He parked his car in the parking lot of the Santa Monica Place, like he had planned on doing, and got the elevator to the third level with Stephen. The frozen yogurt shop was closed, so they went straight to the movies.

_ (08:23 pm) Scott: _

_ I've heard you're on a DATE. I WANNA HEAR EVERYTHING. TELL ME EVERYTHING, IDIOT. _

Tony put his phone back in his pocket, ignoring his friend. There wasn't a date. There were two gays in a movie theater, watching a movie about two women who loved each other and were trying to stay together, but it wasn't a date.

(...)

Stephen stopped in front of his office door, the hand on the doorknob. 

"Tony?" Tony looked back, letting go of his own door to look at him. 

"Yeah"

"I haven't had a good day like this in forever. Thank you." Tony smiled.

"I'll be here tomorrow at seven thirty to do your makeup so you can go to work." Stephen nodded. "Goodnight, Stephen".

"Goodnight, Tony." The older man got in the house and stared at the closed door. He took his shoes off and went to the bedroom.

He was in bed, naked from the chest up, only a blanket over his torso. The window was opened. 

He truly hadn't had a comfortable day like this in a while. The movie was good. A bit sad, but good. The company was… amazing. He was happy. It felt good to be happy. He had forgotten how good it was.

It was nice to have a friend for a change. Tony seemed intriguing and Stephen was curious. And there was something about the way Stephen heard Tony pronounce his name that Stephen loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OK SO   
> THIS IS HOW THINGS WILL HAPPEN FROM NOW ON SO BUCKLE UP, I THINK YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!!!!!! How's the holiday season treating y'all??????  
> Here's another one!!!!!

Tony showed up that Friday morning with the bag full of products that Hope had bought.

"Have you eaten?" Stephen asked, and Tony shook his head. "Do you wanna go?

It was an invitation. Stephen didn't want to let go anymore. He feared that if he let him, that he would lose the neighbor, so he would be alone again. What was the problem? It was just coffee. Plus, he knew a place Dylan never went to.

He didn't wanna be alone again. He couldn't let, after all that time alone, friendless, someone who wanted to be with him go.

Maybe Stephen's idea of not letting Tony go would become an obsession, or maybe he'd end up destroyed and alone again for some reason. Who knew?

Tony wanted to. He truly did. And it was too early on a Friday morning for him to be found, but what if they did? What if they found him? What if someone recognized him? Would he be stuck inside his house with Stephen waiting for the right moment to go out with him properly? What would happen three months from there?

Stephen didn't know that sometimes, if people say they can't go out with you, is because they truly  _ can't _ , not because they don't want him around. Stephen couldn't discern between the two situations. In his mind every time someone said they couldn't was because they didn't want to.

"Sure. Do you know a place this time?" Stephen nodded.

(...)

"Your neighbor?" Hope asked. "What is going on?"

"Do you remember when I told you that his boyfriend hit him?"

"That was on Sunday." 

"I was right. He does. But he called me this time." 

"I still think it's not a good idea, Tony. You'll end up hurt." Tony didn't know what difference that could make. What could happen? He gets punched?

(...)

_ (7:12 pm) Tony: _

_ What are you doing tonight? Because my friends are going to a club and I'm not in the mood. I thought maybe we could eat that frozen yogurt we didn't eat that night. What do you think? _

_ (7:12 pm) Stephen: _

_ Are you sure you wanna spend your Friday night with me?" _

_ (7:13 pm) Tony: _

_ With this excitement? No. _

_ (7:13 pm) Stephen: _

_ I'll be home in a few minutes. _

Tony smiled and got up. He took a shower and went to Carol's bedroom.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't wanna go to Avalon with us? It's Avalon, Tony. And Rhodey will be there."

"Right. Say hi to Hollywood for me."

"Why do you wanna stay home on a Friday night? What are you gonna do?" Tony shrugged. "Is everything okay? 

"Please leave my house." Tony asked, pushing her to the side door. "Leave, now." Stephen had just got to the side entrance when they appeared at the door.

"My phone. Hold on." Carol walked away, getting her phone in her room. She showed Tony her hand, asking for something.

"What?"

"Car keys." Tony shook his head. "Tony, you promised. You said that I could use your car!”

“We can use mine.” Stephen was still standing by the door, watching the two of them. Carol looked at him, then to her brother and got the car keys. She left, holding a laugh. Tony and his neighbor? That’s why he didn’t wanna go to Avalon?

“I have a car that we can use. You don’t have to drive us around all the time” Tony smiled.

“Yeah, but what happens if a talk show starts?” Stephen laughed.

“You can turn it off, I allow you.”

(...)

They drove to Santa Monica Place that night, bought some frozen yogurt and drove along Ocean Avenue just to see how things were, and then they went back to Stephen’s house to watch something together.

Tony heard a noise on the side entrance and got up. Stephen put the tv on mute. The younger man left through the office, finding Rhodey on the stairs, sitting, his eyes half closed.

“HEY!” Rhodey yelled, drunk.

“What are you doing here, J?” Rhodey tried to get up, but he gave up after the third attempt. “How did you get here?”

“Someone brought me. But they left.” Tony rolled his eyes and got his phone. 

“That’s called uber. His name was Henry.” 

“Fuck Henry.” 

“What are you doing here?”

“Carol said you were home.” Tony nodded. 

“And what are you doing here?”

“You didn’t call, and you weren’t at the party. I thought you were gonna show up, but then I decided to come, because you didn’t show up.” Stephen chuckled. He and Tony exchanged a look.

“You don’t care about me. You didn’t call.” It was Tony’s time to chuckle. “Not funny.”

“You told me not to call, remember? In the waterfall” Stephen’s mind worked without him wanting to. And his brain reminded him of the conversation a drunk Tony and his friends had had, a few nights before, about how he had sex with someone in a waterfall.

It was the man on the floor, and Stephen thought for a second that Tony was the type of guy that would let you on the floor when he didn’t want you anymore. And Stephen thought that if he fell again he wouldn’t have strength to get up.

“That's not a discussion we should be having right now, you won’t remember it anyway.” Tony helped him get up and opened his door. “I think we’ll have to call it a night.”

Stephen nodded. “Yeah, that’s what it seems.” Tony nodded. Stephen was serious, not a single muscle moving as he spoke.

“It’s not what… I see you tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow is trash day.” Stephen said. Stephen had built his wall again, this gigantic wall between him and his neighbor, because he didn’t wanna stay on the floor, he didn’t need anyone else pushing him down, he had Dylan to do that.

“Goodnight, Stephen.”

“Night, Tony.” He watched, leaned on the door frame, Tony put the man inside. 

“He’s not gonna call you!” Rhodey yelled from the kitchen. 

Yeah. Now Stephen thought he wouldn’t. He got home after closing Tony’s kitchen door.

And he was alone, with an unfinished movie and the feeling that the previous days would last less than he had imagined, and that all his energy had been a complete waste of hope. Stephen didn’t even know why he had opened up for Tony in the first place.

(...)

Tony was next to the sink, a cereal bowl on his hand when Rhodey got in. 

“Your breakfast.” He said, serious. Rhodey looked to the sink, to a blue mug full of hot coffee, three toasts and a glass of water and a painkiller.

Rhodey pulled everything to his side, as far as possible from Tony. 

“Though night, wasn’t it?” Tony asked.

‘I’m sorry.” Tony raised his eyebrows, scoffing. 

“You’re sorry? Why?” Rhodes put the spoon in the bowl. Rhodey still hadn’t looked at him. “I can wait all morning.”

“You have all the right to be mad, I…” 

“You WHAT?” Tony yelled. “You knocked on my door, almost passed out drunk after one am, saying that I didn’t care about you? How is that fair? What’s your point? You tell me what your point is, because I don’t know.” 

“I’m sorry, Tony. I don’t know why I came, I…”

“What do you want? Hm? You had your chance and what did you do with it? Are you trying to laugh at me? Or suddenly you’re feeling sorry for me?”

“That’s not it.” 

“Great, because on Sunday we sat by that bonfire and we promised each other that nothing would happen, that we wouldn’t make that a big deal, that there wouldn’t be any feelings between us.  _ You  _ told me that.  _ You.” _

“I swear I didn’t mean, Tony.”

“Of course you didn’t. Because we had that, you know? We had this good thing between us and we never needed the kisses, the sex that never happened, we completed each other, and suddenly we decided to let everything go for some... How do you expect me to be?”

“Tony…”

“I’m not done. It was your fault the first time. Do you remember? Things were good again, but we let everything behind on the holiday. Why?” Rhodey didn’t answer. Tony put two papers on the counter. “Just in case you forgot.”

Rhodey left the room, leaving the house and sitting on the stairs. He didn’t need the script, because he had lived every moment of it for a long time. The time Tony wasn’t famous, when people wouldn’t recognize him as he walked down the street, back to a time when he and Rhodey would get Howard’s car and drive to Venus Bay on their own, away from Sandy Point, away from the woods and the quiet of a 300-inhabitant village. 

It seemed like another lifetime. It felt like his imagination, when things change so much and so fast that you feel like the past never existed, when things were simpler, when they had no problems, and if they had problems things were so good they barely noticed them. Now problems seemed bigger, impossible to carry, and he felt as if only bad things were happening to them. It felt like they couldn’t get it right, that Rhodey couldn’t make anything right.

If you’re in love with Tony Stark you don’t kiss him. Please, please don’t kiss him.

Tony walked down Ocean Park boulevard and called Carol. 

“Hey, I’m driving back home.” Carol said. 

“I’m at Gelson’s. Can you meet me there? I need to talk."

“I’ll meet you there in ten.” Tony made a turn to the left and Carol found him wondering around the parking lot of the supermarket. She left the driver’s seat and let Tony drive.

“Are you having something with your neighbor?” She asked. He left Santa Monica and drove north to Malibu. 

“I am not. We’re friends, I guess.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I don’t know. It feels like I have to take things slow with him, you know? And I don’t know what’s happening, so I can’t… I don’t wanna ruin it."

“What about Rhodey?” Tony took a deep breath and turned right. 

“There isn’t a Rhodey, not anymore. I've tried to move on, and then we had this thing and it’s over, whatever that was. I can’t let him hurt me again, that’s not… He’s in my house.”

“What?”

“He went there yesterday. I was watching a movie with Stephen, and he left the party around one am and took an uber to my house. He cried about how I never treated him right. What did he want me to do? I liked him, he broke my heart, we moved on, we hook up and now he’s crying about his own heart? No, thanks.”

“He likes you.”

“So what? I liked him, I fell in love with him and what did that bring me, Carol? Absolutely fucking nothing.”

Stephen opened the side door, went to the trash can and threw his trash there.

“Are you feeling better?” Rhodey looked up, to see Stephen there looking at him, his back against the door, his arms crossed.

“What?” He seemed confused. He had never seen the man in front of him. He seemed kind, a mixture of happy and sad in his eyes, as if he had seen the best and the worst of life, and the prettiest eyes Rhodey had seen.

“Yesterday you seemed a little… Shaken up. I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Tony didn’t seem very happy about it.” Rhodey’s face changed, from confusion to realization. Tony was with his neighbor the night before? At one am? He had seen him get there? He and Tony? And then he remembered Tony calling his landlady that day on the Big Sur to ask if he was okay. 

“It’s an eight-year story. It’s complicated” Stephen nodded. 

“I understand ‘complicated’. If you need anything you can just knock. I’m Stephen.”

“I’m Rhodey. Hm, James Rhodes.” Stephen nodded. 

Tony went back home after having lunch with Carol at the Malibu Farm Cafe. He got in the house to find Rhodey on the couch waiting for him.

“We need to talk.” Tony nodded. Yes, they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, but Tony in love with Rhodey? WHAT?   
> There's a lot coming I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!  
> Tell me what you think and have a good weekend :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, HOW'S EVERYONE??? I've been meaning to post this for so SO long but this time of year is always crazy for me bc of work, but here we are!!  
> I hope you like it and I hope I come back before NYE to give y'all THE CONTENT

**Those eyes used to know me, it's been way too long**   
**You are the moon and the stars, and all they gaze upon**   
**Time won't ever move slowly, what you waiting on?**   
**Yeah, what you waiting on?**

**Giants - Dermot Kennedy**

He left for the front entrance. Tony closed the door and looked at him. 

“I’m sorry.” Rhodey started. “I fucked things up a long time ago, not only yesterday, I know that.”

“I’m listening.”

“You are there for me all the time and I played with you and I hurt you and I recognize that, yes. What happened this holiday was a mistake, we both know that. We’re trying to find something, we’re trying to make it a thing that is not… It’s not us. We’re not meant to be together.”

“The holiday wasn’t only your fault.”

“It was. It has always been my fault. We’ve been friends for a long time, Tony, and I haven’t acted as a friend lately, and I know that’s not fair, and I know timing sucks, and I understand that we’re worlds apart, even though we’re good friends. I know what I did to you.”

“I don’t blame you for what you did.” Rhodey smiled. 

“No, but it’s there, isn’t it? When you look at him and you see... You see how everything happened, and how his character makes you think of us.” Tony smiled. 

“It’s over now, it doesn’t matter. We can move on and keep as friends.” Rhodey nodded. Telling Tony he liked him would be unfair, to say the least, because he knew Tony was working hard on healing, he knew that Tony looked good, and that despite everything, they were good. Rhodey couldn’t just get there and be completely honest with Tony. And if he did what he did to Tony he had the right to do that to himself.

“Who’s he?” Rhodey asked. Tony looked at him confused. “Stephen. That’s why you were so angry earlier today, wasn’t it? Because I know you, you would laugh.”

“That was not funny. It wasn’t.” Rhodey nodded. 

“Sorry.” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Still, who is he?”

“He’s a friend, Rhodey. He’s nice, and I have this thing, I feel like I need to try to make the world better for him, that I need to make everything better for him, that I need to be…” Tony stopped, trying to find some comparison.

“Like I wasn’t” Tony leaned his head to the side, looking at Rhodey as if he hadn’t had patience for that. “It’s okay, I can take it.” 

“I just wanna be who he needs, that’s all. He seems interesting, that’s all I’m saying.” Rhodey shook his head. “Scott texted me, they’re coming over later today, do you wanna stay? There are some of your clothes in my wardrobe.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Is your _friend_ coming over?”

“Give me a break, Rhodes.” Tony got inside and grabbed the trash bags. He got bored because there was nothing new. Everything in the trash container from Stephen’s house were the same things he already knew about. The makeup boxes, the Denny’s containers, but he got happy anyway. That meant he didn’t need the trash cans anymore, he had other ways to know if Stephen was okay or not.

The older one didn’t show up during that time. It seemed like he wasn’t even home. Everything was so quiet that Tony just figured he was at the company, but now he wasn’t that sure. He thought about calling Stephen over, but what would they talk about? What would they do?

Stephen spent the entire morning at home, angry at himself, because he got carried away, he had opened his gates to Tony and he had let him in. He never met the neighbor. He had slept on his neighbor’s chest, he had shared the same straw with the neighbor, they had gone to the movies, they had used the same spoon and now those details that seemed unimportant were weighing on him. He had crossed the line, lines he didn’t even know existed. He was slightly bothered with himself, with his own body. That Saturday he cleaned, he took out the trash, he washed the bathroom, the kitchen, he vacuumed the entire house, because he couldn’t relax, and when he couldn’t relax he usually just cleaned.

_(6:45 pm) Scott:_

_I hope I get to your house in time to see your new boyfriend there._

_(6:45 pm) Tony:_

_Who? Rhodey?_

_(6:46 pm) Scott:_

_YOU DIDN’T… TONY ANTHONY STARK_

_(6:46 pm) Tony:_

_That’s definitely my name._

_I don’t have a boyfriend ;)_

_(6:47 pm) Scott:_

_Your neighbor, then. Whatever helps you sleep at night._

Tony rolled his eyes and left the cell phone on the bed. He could call Stephen, couldn’t he? What could go wrong? He could tell him he didn’t want to, he could tell him he was busy, or he could say yes and show up and meet Tony’s friends. And Tony was hopeful to see Stephen and his friends together, because maybe, deep down, Tony felt like there was something there he wouldn’t be able to let go, something he wanted to hold on to and watch it stay. That was probably why Tony had decided to work so hard to be with Stephen every second he could, for the same reason he had spent so much money with him already, and the reason why he got so angry the night before, with Rhodey showing up like that. Tony knew that thinking about falling in love would only make things more difficult, or easy. He knew that the feeling would simply happen now that the thought was in his head. It was only a matter of time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey in love with Tony after breaking Tony's heart because Tony used to be in love with Rhodey? Talk about awful timing!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, well I've been meaning to post this since the 30th but like I said, this period is always crazy for me because of the hotel, but here I am!!! I hope you like it!!!!

We are runnin' so fast  
And we never look back  
And whatever I lack, you make up  
We make a really good team  
And not everyone sees  
We got this crazy chemistry  
Between us

You don't have to say I love you to say I love you  
Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons  
We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue  
Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money  
All I need is you

**(For Him. - Troye Sivan)**

_ (8:12 pm) Tony: _

_ What are you doing? _

_ (8:13 pm) Stephen: _

_ Why? _

_ (8:13 pm) Tony: _

_ My friends are here. _

_ (8:14 pm) Stephen: _

_ I’ve noticed. _

_ (8:14 pm) Tony: _

_ Do you wanna come over? _

_ (8:14 pm) Stephen: _

_ Why? _

Tony took a deep breath and got up. Scott, Hope, Carol, Rhodey, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Pepper and Sam were in the living room with him.

“I’ll be right back.” Scott looked at him, chuckling. 

“Please, do.” He said. Tony left the living room to the kitchen, and knocked on Stephen’s side door. Stephen exhaled. He went to the office and opened the door.

“Are you okay?” Stephen nodded. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Well, my friends are here, you are my friend, why wouldn’t you join us?” Tony asked. He watched Stephen look to the doorframe, and then look at him.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

“Look, if this is about last night I can totally explain...”

“I don’t need pity, Tony. I don’t need people trying to be my friend just because I’m in a bad place.” 

“You may not know, Stephen, but I need a new friend, way more than you need one. I love all of them there, but I feel like I need to always exceed expectations. Even my own sister’s expectations, and I can’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“A new boyfriend, something bigger, work and more work, because you’re on vacation so you have time to spend sixteen hours working, and they always want more, they always want better things, more intense things, and I just need someone who has no idea, who’s not trying to beat the numbers all the time, because… I can’t do it. I can’t just listen to them talking about the same things all the time. Please.”

Stephen took a deep breath. 

“I need someone normal for a change.” Stephen chuckled, finding it funny.

“Good luck on your search.” Tony looked at him, his mouth opened, his heart beating fast. Did he just hear what he thought he had? Did Stephen just reject him?”

“Go ahead.” Stephen pushed him back to his kitchen, getting in too. Tony looked at him in the kitchen and smiled. He looked to his right side, to see his friends through the living room door. 

“Guys?” Tony went to the living room. Behind him a slightly taller man. Scott and Hope smiled at each other. “This is Stephen.” 

The older one waved. He was thankful that one of the things he used to do when he was stress cleaning was take a long bath, because now he wasn’t smelling like cleaning products.

“Stephen, that’s my younger sister Carol” He shook her hand. “Sam, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Pepper, Rhodey, Scott and Hope.” Hope smiled and waved. 

“Your friend from Wednesday…” Hope smiled. Was she there?

“That would be me.” She winked at him. “Have a seat, we’re deciding what we’re gonna eat.”

Stephen sat next to her and Tony sat next to him. 

“Okay, so, we all work with the same thing, except Carol and Rhodey.” 

“And what do you two do?” Tony looked at Carol before she started saying something.

“I’m a philosophy student at UCLA.” 

“Oh, wow! Oh, okay. Smart.” Carol’s smile got bigger. 

“Don’t get her started.” Tony asked. “She’s gonna talk about Descartes nonstop.” 

“I’m kinda not doing anything at the moment. I’m trying to find something, tho.” Rhodey explained, before Carol could correct Tony, because he knew he had said the wrong Philosopher on purpose. “What do you do?”

“Hm, design. Web design.” Pepper looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

“Wow, a creative type. My type.” Scott rolled his eyes. “So, do you have someone?”

“I have a boyfriend.” 

“HOLY FUCK” Scott yelled and grabbed Hope’s hand. “Sorry, carry on, I forgot the oven on, we’ll be right back, text me if you need anything.” Tony opened his mouth a few times. 

"You don't cook." Tony said. Scott shrugged and left, still holding Hope's hand.

“Hm, what did just happen?” Tony smiled. 

“They’re like this, don’t worry. They’ve been together for a few years now. So, food?” 

“We can get the food.” Pepper offered. ‘We’ meant her, Sam and Loki. “Bruce and Thor can get the… Are we staying?”

“Well, we have space.” Tony said, and looked at Stephen.

“Yeah, but what about you?” 

“I’m not sleeping tonight, don’t worry about that. I have plans” Bruce and Thor raised their eyebrows and looked away. 

“So Thor and Bruce get the rest of the stuff, you all have fun.” Tony nodded. He watched as his friends left the house. Carol looked at him.

“Can I talk to you?” Tony followed her to his room. “You’re not sleeping here?”

“I’ll..”

“Go out with Stephen?”

“Santa Monica.” Carol nodded. “I just thought it would be interesting. I can ask him to sleep on his couch."

“God, you’re something else.” Carol exhaled. “Call Hope and ask her to bring their stuff.”

In the living room Rhodey looked at Stephen.

“Hey, thank you about this morning. I don’t usually do this kind of stuff.”

“It’s alright.”

“It’s just complicated.”

“Are you two together?” Rhodey laughed. “What?”

“We were a good time, you know? We had this chemistry and we had all these good moments where we didn’t need money, and things didn’t have to be said for us to say them, but we were going too fast, so…”

“You guys broke up?” Rhodey shook his head.

“We never had anything. When he was about to ask me into this real, intense relationship, I… I said I didn’t want to, because I was having some kind of relationship with someone else, so he spent some time in Sydney before moving here. Tony is the most amazing person in the world, I just hope he finds someone as amazing as he is. I’m sorry about last night, I don’t know what I said, but he’s a good person, and he’s a great friend. And I can say that because I’m sober now.”

Stephen smiled and nodded. That was more than he thought he would get, and now he felt bad for judging the neighbor. Everything was a little foggy, he just wanted to understand things better.

“Stephen?” He looked up, watching Carol come back to the living room. “Can you come here a second?”

He got up and looked for Tony around the house, finding him in a bedroom. 

“Hey. Rhodes is nice.” Tony nodded. “Your friends seem nice, but they’re kinda…”

“Too much?” Tony nodded. “They think we’re having something.”

“Oh.” Stephen raised his eyebrows. 

“Well, they’re gonna sleep here.” 

“You need a place to stay” He shook his head.

“Actually, what are you doing later?” 

“You mean in the middle of the night?” Tony nodded. “Sleeping.” 

Tony laughed. “Well, yeah, that’s what normal people do. Do you wanna go somewhere with me?”

“Sure, I guess. Will you still need a place to stay?”

“Look, Stephen, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“It’s just a bed, Tony. Let’s just build a friendship, okay? No judgments, no doing things we think we don’t want to do” Tony nodded.

“I would like that.” They went back to the living room.

Scott closed the car door at the same time Hope did it. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Tony wants to help, right? And now he and Stephen are friends.” Hope nodded. “And Tony thinks he needs to get rid of his boyfriend.”

“I’m following.”

“What happens a few months from now, if Tony manages to make him break up with the boyfriend? I mean, from what it seems, Stephen doesn’t have many friends” Hope thought for a second.

“Oh, fuck, that’s not gonna be good.”

“No, it won’t. We have a problem.” Hope nodded.

(...)

Sam, Loki and Pepper got in the car. 

“You’re so inappropriate.” Loki commented, on the passenger seat.

“I could ask the question or try to kiss him.”

“You’re with Tony the longest and you still haven’t learned that if Tony introduces people you don’t kiss them, because there’s something there? That’s just common sense by now.”

“Oh, honey, if there’s something there I wanna be Tony Stark when I grow up.”

Sam smiled. “I’ll love to share the room with you guys.” 

“They’re all so fucking beautiful, what the fuck?” Loki said, and they smiled.

When they went back to the house Loki, Pepper and Rhodey were holding four boxes of pizza, three bottles of soda, two bottles of juice and some nachos. Scott and Hope took longer to come back, Hope coming in trying to pass an entire mattress through the front door. 

She screamed, which made Stephen smile.

“There’s another one in the car, if someone wants to help.” Thor and Loki got up and went to the car to get the other mattress. 

"So, only the two of you are dating?” Stephen asked, when everybody was back to the living room, now sitting on the mattresses.

‘I’m not with Thor because he doesn’t want to.” Carol said, joking.

“You’re eight years younger than me. And you’re eighteen, not gonna happen.” Carol shrugged. 

“Just the two of them, unless you count every time we find Bruce and Thor snogging around during their work break.” Bruce got red. 

“I have a boyfriend in London.” Sam said. “Which reminds me that I need London already, Tony.” 

“You’ll be there. It will be fun.”

“How long have you been in a relationship?” Pepper asked. 

“Hm, ten years? I… No, nine.” Hope raised her eyebrows. It wasn’t possible that that person in front of her would spend so much time with a person like the one Tony described.

Sam, Loki and Pepper looked at each other. If Tony had hope there… Oh boy.

Stephen was happy. It was impressive how many times he had noticed that new feeling inside of him after Tony. If it was Saturday and Dylan still hadn’t shown up, then he got relieved, because the next day the boyfriend would go to New Hope for three weeks, and he was definitely free.

Scott screamed, Loki tried to tell jokes, they ate almost all the pizza and the nachos, and Rhodey and Stephen paired up to play Pictionary against Carol and Tony, Scott and Hope, Sam and Pepper, and Loki, Thor and Bruce.

Tony would look at Stephen sometimes, seeing a smile on his face, and when he did that he would feel this warm feeling inside of him, his heart would do this thing that he couldn’t describe, it was inevitable.

“Thank you.” Stephen moved his lips to Tony while the others were yelling random words to Carol, trying to guess what he had drawn. The two of them looked to the board.

“A GOOSE!” Stephen yelled. Carol pointed at him.

“YES, BITCH!” Rhodey yelled, and touched Stephen’s shoulder.

If he kept saying that that had been a good day he would get tired. He had been telling himself that the three nights before that one and he felt like things would keep being like that for a while.

He really thanked him. He thanked Tony with his heart full of a good feeling, full of something he had forgotten during those last years. If that was the life he would live from there on, even if only during the moments Dylan would be away, then he was fine. And now he had something he had lost. He had perspective. Those people were amazing, loud, intense, kind and Stephen couldn’t have asked for better people to share that night.

Tony was… He was on cloud nine. He loved those people. They made him happy. There weren’t other things he would rather be doing that night. And glancing at Stephen and seeing the smiles on his face was an amazing feeling. He could stay there for the rest of his life. If he kept thinking about everything… He wouldn’t mind. Every effort to make Stephen’s days a little better were worthy if he could keep glancing at him and seeing all the happiness.

Tony decided that he could fall in love, it wouldn’t matter, and if he did and Stephen didn’t want anything with him, still all the effort would still be worthy. And Tony was sure that now that he had the thought of falling in love in his head, that it would only be a matter of time, because, honestly, who wouldn’t fall in love with Stephen Strange?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OK BYE


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe we should build you one, then, together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> I couldn't wait to show you this one and I certainly can't wait to show you the next one so I'll TRY to come back tomorrow, enjoy!!!!

Around two am they all organized their things and designated the places they would sleep. Scott and Hope in Tony's bed, Carol and Sam in her room, Bruce and Thor in the living room with Pepper and Loki. Rhodey decided he would go home. 

Stephen helped him clean the living room.

“Do you wanna go?” Stephen nodded. Tony got in his room and got a blanket. “Okay.”

Stephen followed him to the car, wondering what they would do with a blanket at two am and where they would go. Tony drove for only five minutes, then he parked his car on Ocean Avenue, a few meters from the Santa Monica Pier. Stephen followed him outside the car, across the street. The pier was almost empty at two am, some lights on, almost completely silent. 

Tony walked down the stairs to the pedestran bridge over the highway to the sand, taking off his shoes and Stephen did the same thing. The cold wind touched their faces and Stephen understood what they would do with the blanket.

“What are we doing here?” Tony shrugged. He gave one of the edges of the blanket to Stephen, who put it in his back. They sat on the sand, sharing the blanket. 

“That’s my favorite place in Santa Monica. It’s cold, it’s amazing, you know? Staying here after everybody left, listening to the ocean waves hitting the pier, the seagulls going after the food humans may have left behind…”

“It’s nice in here.” Tony nodded. They were next to each other, Stephen with his legs crossed, Tony had his knees on his chest. Their bodies were slightly touching.

“What do you think of them?”

“They’re amazing, Tony, truly, thank you.” Tony smiled. “You work with them?”

“I’m an artist.” Stephen raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s nice, you guys took your passions and use it as work.”

“What is your passion?”

“Photography. I would travel the world taking pictures. I would spend my entire life carrying everything I had in a backpack, no permanent address, maybe a mailbox, and I would visit every corner of the world.”

“That sounds amazing.” Stephen nodded. “Do you wanna go?”

“What?”

“On our next trip. Take pictures for us, I’m sure we can find you something to do.” Stephen smiled.

“It’s not that easy. He wouldn’t let me. And I don’t wanna share moments like this with him, carry him around, knowing that the people I work with every day know that we fight the way we fight.”

“It’s easy, Stephen. Just break up with him and come.” Stephen shook his head, because he thought Tony wasn’t being serious. Tony wouldn’t forget the invitation. Why not?

The silence was there again. That silence between them, only the sound of the ocean and the city behind them. The comfortable silence. The one Tony thought he could live in for the rest of his life. 

A little after three that night Stephen got his first text.

_ (03:13 am) Dylan: _

_ Hey. The plane is taking off. I hope you’ll be okay. Things are confusing, I think we need to sit and talk when I come back. I know things with your family are not easy, but if you need anything just tell me.” _

_ (03:14 am) Stephen: _

_ Just don’t go to Victor’s. Please, please, please, if you have any feelings for me don’t go to Victor. That’s all. _

_ (03:14 am) Dylan:  _

_ What are you still doing awake? _

_ (03:15 am) Stephen: _

_ Please, Dylan, don’t go there. My brother didn’t like you, it would be disrespectful to him. You know he never liked you, so don’t go to the cemetery, please. _

Tony was facing the ocean, trying to give Stephen the space he needed. Stephen threw his phone on the sand, next to his shoes, the screen facing down. He exhaled, afraid of Dylan going to the cemetery in New Hope.

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m free.” Stephen said. “His flight just took off. Three weeks. I’ve never had that much time away from him before."

“That’s great, isn’t it?” Stephen nodded.

“Tony?” He looked at Stephen. “Victor…”

Stephen looked up, and then he closed his eyes. Tony kept looking at him.

“Victor was my brother.” Tony put his hand on Stephen’s thigh and Stephen put his own hand over his.

“What happened?”

“It was a car accident. He was my favorite person.”

“Were you close?” Stephen nodded. He looked at Tony and put his head on his shoulder.

“Like you and Carol. It happened last month.” 

“That’s why I found you in the hallway.” Stephen nodded again. Tony turned the hand on his leg up and intertwined their fingers. “Is that why you’re not going?”

“I like my sister. She and Victor were the good part. My parents… You know.” Tony nodded. He squeezed his hand gently, to show him he was there, and they stayed there in silence, the blanket over their backs, Stephen’s head on Tony’s shoulder, holding hands.

He could stay there again. Like in every moment with Stephen, he felt like he could stay there for as long as it was humanly possible, just to go somewhere else, to another moment that Tony would want to last forever. He had shared his favorite place, his friends, and Stephen had shared his truths, that nothing would change.

Stephen wasn’t sad. With Tony’s hand holding his he felt that he was okay. He was feeling okay, his heart steady, a light breeze touching their faces, the feeling of being free, of a time away from Dylan that he never had, but now he thought he wouldn’t be alone. He had someone there.

The night turned into day, their silence became other people’s noise, of birds, cars, stores opening, surfers arriving to get the good waves. They got up. Tony helped him, pulling him by the hand, they folded the blanket and drove back to the house. In Stephen’s house Tony got a clean blanket in the office and he followed Stephen to the bedroom. 

“Goodnight, Tony.” Stephen said, his back to Tony.

“Goodnight, Stephen.” Stephen smiled.

(...)

Tony spent his Tuesday in the studio, finishing some scenes. 

“He has a boyfriend.” Tony nodded. “And you like him.” He nodded again. “And he doesn’t know what you really do.” 

He closed the script and looked at Pepper.

“I’m trying to work here, you know?” She raised her hand. “Thank you.”

He opened on the page he was reading, closing his eyes and mumbling the lines in his head. 

“And you go through his trash?” Tony took a deep breath and closed the script again. He turned his body in her direction.

“I don’t go through it, it’s just there, you know? And I like him, he’s amazing and I would love to spend some time with him, but I don’t wanna make him think that I’m just trying to be friends to become something else. I wanna make him see that it’s more than just an “i think I like him”. I just wanna spend time with him.”

“You should.” Tony nodded.

“I will. Not today, because we’re stuck in here since yesterday, but I’ll spend some time with him as soon as I can.”

“You should spend time with him tomorrow.”

“I won’t, if you don’t let me work. Shut up.” She smiled and let him finish his reading. 

(...)

_ (7:31 pm) Tony: _

_ Maybe you should just arrive before him and remove all the screws of his chair. _

_ (7:34 pm) Stephen: _

_ I wish!! I just can't stand working next to the guy. I think I need to find something else to do with my life. _

_ (7:37 pm) Tony: _

_ My offer still stands. What are you waiting for? _

_ (7:37 pm) Stephen: _

_ I would need a new life. _

_ (7:37 pm) Tony: _

_ Maybe we should build you one, then, together. _

_ (7:38 pm) Stephen: _

_ Not that simple. Are you home? _

_ (7:38 pm) Tony: _

_ Working until god knows when. Breakfast tomorrow? _

_ (7:39 pm) Stephen: _

_ I would love to. _

On Wednesday morning Stephen grabbed his new camera and put all the lenses in his bag. He knocked on Tony’s door.

“Hey, I was about to text you. Are you ready to go?” 

“Sure. I was wondering, if you have time later, if you don’t want to go out, so I can use it.” Tony smiled.

“Are you free this week?” Stephen frowned. 

“Yeah. I finished the website last week.” Stephen wondered for a second if Tony was about to bail on him that morning. That was he was about to do, wasn’t it? Stephen was stressed about work, he just wasn’t feeling like going that day. He wanted to do something he actually liked, with someone he liked, without worrying about the size of a html tag, or a button that didn’t match the color scheme. He needed something else. 

“Great. Go pack, I’ll meet you outside in one hour.” Tony was about to close the door.

“Wait, what?”

“You said you’re free this week. Go pack, I know a great place for you to take pictures, we’re traveling.” Stephen didn’t answer. He stood by the door, not knowing how to react, while Tony closed his own door. Tony moved his hands at him, asking him to hurry. Tony went to the closet in the living room, getting all the camping gear from the holiday.

He went to his room and packed as many clothes as he could inside a backpack, and the rest of the camping gear he put inside two storage boxes. He went to the car and put everything in there.

Stephen had decided that he wouldn’t overthink. Was he traveling with someone he had met the week before? Yes. Did he care? Oh, no, not at all. He was free, he _could_ travel with a friend if he wanted to.

When he went outside Tony had already put the car near the side entrance and his trunk was half organized already.

“What are we doing?” 

“There’s a great place that I’ve been meaning to go, but during the holiday we went elsewhere, so now we’re going.” 

“Don’t you have to go to work?” Tony took his phone from his pocket. He called Pepper.

“Pepps, it’s me. So, can’t go to work this week, I see you next week, what do you think?”

“That’s not how it works.” He laughed. Stephen couldn’t hear her.

“Great, see you then!” and he hung up. “Now I don’t have anymore.”

“Easy like that? Oh, god, I want your job,” Tony smiled. 

"Breakfast at Urth?" Stephen laughed.

"Oh, you really know your way to my heart, don't you?" They got in the car. Stephen excited because of the trip and Tony excited because he had a feeling that it would be great.

(...)

Tony parked the car a little after five pm in the parking lot of the DoubleTree in Fresno, California. They had stopped in Bakersfield to eat lunch, stopped in Traver to buy more water and they also stopped in Kingsburg to take a few pictures and walk around a little bit.

“We’re not staying here” Tony looked at him. “Aren’t we going camping?”

“Oh, not in Fresno. I thought maybe we could walk a bit, have dinner, visit Woodward, which is beautiful in the summer, and in the morning we can drive to Yosemite.” Stephen nodded.

They got in and Stephen looked around, amazed. 

“Are we sharing the room with Obama? Because if we are, we’re in the right place.” Tony smiled. “This place is huge.”

“I don’t think I would share a room with Obama, maybe we could have dinner with him? What do you think he would order?” Stephen moved his head, smiling. 

“He seems like a grilled cheese kid of guy.” Tony smiled. They stopped at the front desk, Stephen still looking around every detail of the hotel. The center of the hotel was completely open, all the seven floors had open hallways, so Stephen could see everything from the floor to the glass ceiling. There was also in the first floor a two-storey-high water fountain, some palm trees, and every detail felt more expensive than Stephen’s entire life.

The man at the front desk smiled at him.

“Mr. Stark. Welcome back to the DoubleTree. It’s an honor.” Tony smiled.

“Thank you, Aaron. We need a double bed, please.”

“Right away, sir. Hm, does room seven oh seven sounds good to you?”

“Wonderful.”

“Great, Do you want to wait at the bar while we prepare your room?”

“No, it’s okay, we’ll walk around and have dinner, we’ll be back in a few hours.” The man nodded and Tony and Stephen left again.

“You know the man at the front desk? How long do you need to stay in a hotel for the receptionist to recognize you?”

“Oh, it’s a boring story.” Tony drove to Woodward park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D   
> I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY JUST THAT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OMG  
> :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I wanted to post this one bc it was amazing, but I also wanna post the next one so I'll be back tomorrow again, I think.  
> Sorry about this one but it'll be worth it!!

Tony saw, through the corner of his eyes, the three girls get closer. He knew what was about to happen. They looked at each other, their eyes widened, a smile on their faces. 

“We gotta go.” He put his hand on Stephen’s back, trying to push him away from there.

“What? What’s wrong?” Tony took a deep breath. He didn’t need that now. He just wanted to leave, because questions would happen on both sides and he wasn’t ready. He thought he could hide it from him, he thought maybe for a second that he would be better not telling Stephen who he really was, what he really did, and then after a while, after building something, _maybe_ he could tell Stephen his actual job. Now it was too late for that.

The girls looked at each other. The first one, Natalie, bit her fingers, the second, Alexa, hit the third.

“His hand, Lea!” Tony really didn’t wanna go through that, but he also didn’t want to ignore them. He owe them everything. If it wasn't for people like them he wouldn't even be there. Neither of them would. “Tony? TONY!” Stephen frowned and stopped walking. He looked at Tony a little confused. Tony  _ had  _ to stop. He turned around, looking at their excited faces.

“Hey, guys!” One of them squealed a bit. “How are you?”

“Oh. Okay. Hm. Great?” He smiled. It was always fun. He wondered if with time it would get boring to meet people who liked him and who liked the things he did, but for then it was always fun, it gave him a purpose, like he was doing the right thing, because people liked him, people liked his character so he was probably doing something right. "Hm"

"Don't mind her, she doesn't know how to speak. We're great! How are you? What are you doing in Fresno?"  Tony shrugged. Stephen seemed so lost that Tony felt like leaving. He knew he would have to explain what all of that was, and that was the worst part of all of that. He felt like digging a hole in the ground and hiding there for the rest of his life. 

“I’m just enjoying the break.” They looked at Stephen, a million theories already forming in their heads.

“Can we hug you?” Tony nodded, and the three of them hug him together. “Are you staying long?”

“Oh, no, we’re leaving in the morning, we still have some road ahead.” 

“Are you going far?” Tony looked at Stephen.

“Oh, we’ll just see where we end up. We’re not sure.” 

“How’s Carol?”

“She went to New York last night to meet Chrise, she’s coming back next week.” 

“Can we just take a picture? We’re sorry to bother.” 

“Sure, it’s no problem.” Lea gave her cell phone to Tony, who passed it to Stephen. “Can you take it for us?”

“Sure.” Stephen forced a smile. Tony winked at him, but Stephen didn’t mind. He just wanted to know what all of that meant. He gave his cell phone back to Tony, who then gave it back to Lea.

“Thank you, Tony.” He waved at them, who left. Stephen stood in front of him.

“What was that?” Tony took a deep breath. At that moment questions would be answered. “Did you know them?”

“No.”

“They knew your name.” Stephen said, angry. 

“They’re my fans.” Stephen opened his mouth, but he ended up laughing.

“You’re an artist.” 

“I’m an actor, Stephen. I’m in a tv show. Artist.”

“No, no, no. You’re a street artist, a magician, a malabarist.” Tony laughed, finding it funny, but he stopped when he saw Stephen’s expression. “You’re famous?” 

“A little bit.”

“A little bit? Tony… What? Oh, god. Are there pictures of you online? Do they follow you? Are you news when you buy a hamburger?

“There are some things around.” Tony could feel Stephen’s brain working a million miles an hour.

“They’re gonna talk about me, aren’t they? Tony, I can’t. I can’t. He’s gonna kill me, he’s gonna… I can’t…”

“Hey” Tony held his face in his hand. “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen.”

“Yeah? How can you be so sure? How can you…”

“I won’t let it, Stephen. I promise I won’t let anything happen.” Stephen chuckled, sarcastically. 

“Yeah? And how can you promise me that? How the past few months have been to you?”

“You never said anything. I didn’t know. You never asked for help, you never knocked on my door… I would never have guessed that he…” He stopped himself. “I didn’t know. I always thought he just yelled at you.”

“How did you find out? Because… Because I know you knew, Tony. The day he hit me, the day... The day I told him to shut up, while we were outside you said ‘don’t’, because you knew, didn’t you? You knew what could happen if he saw me with you” Tony stayed in silence. “How did you find out? Why did you suddenly want to take care of me?”

“How did we get here, Stephen?”

“Just tell me. Please, please just tell me.” Tony closed his eyes. He couldn’t tell, could he? It was way too embarrassing. 

‘I pay attention to your trash’ - No, he couldn’t do that. How would he do that? That was what kept him from talking to Stephen that first time, a month before. What kept him from knocking on Stephen's door that morning he saw the blood. 

“Tony?”

“The blood.” Tony mumbled.

“What?”

“The blood, the kleenexes with blood a few nights before I gave you the camera.” Stephen chuckled.

“You-You dig my trash?” He was perplexed. “Wha-”

“No, no, I just- I opened the trash can and it was there, and I thought, I thought I could do something about it, you know. I didn’t want to scare you.”

“So, it was just a one-time thing?”

“Yes.”

“So, the fact that you gave me a camera the day after I threw mine in the trash was just a coincidence?”

“Stephen, please.”

“Don’t ‘Stephen’ me, please don't. Now what? You’re gonna go through my bag while I’m sleeping?”

“Don’t do that.” Stephen shook his head. “Don’t go there, you know I won’t.”

"How do I know that? I don't know that. I barely know you, I mean, Tony, the actor, right in front of me. I don't know you, how can I be sure you won't...  I’m out. I can’t- I-” Stephen took a deep breath again. He knew he could cry for thinking about it. 

“Why? We had an amazing day, what happened to that day?”

“You lied to me, Tony. Do you have any idea how many people lied to me in my life? Do you know how unsafe I feel right now? You've waited two hundred and twenty miles to tell me what you really did, you put me in danger, you put us in danger.”

“I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. YOU DON’T KNOW HIM.” Stephen yelled, and then he gave a few steps back, because he wasn’t that person, not with other people, at least. He felt awful for yelling, because he promised he wouldn't be the person to yell. Of course he yelled at Dylan, but that was different. He felt like Dylan was the only person in the world who actually deserved being yelled at. "I need to go home, I can't be with you right now. I don't know why I'm doing this, I don't even know why I called you in the first place, I can't... This is... I can't be here, I can't... Oh my god, you're famous?"

“How did you think I pay for things? For the car, the camera, the hotel?”

“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t. You didn’t have to.”

“But I want to.” Tony closed his eyes. He stayed in silence for a second, unsure of what to say. Something inside of him felt like broken, as if those minutes had destroyed something important. “Let’s just stay for the night and if you don’t wanna keep traveling tomorrow we can go back, let’s… talk tonight, I’ll tell you everything you wanna know, and tomorrow morning when we wake up, if you don’t wanna… we can go back home.”

“We go first thing tomorrow morning?” Tony nodded.

“As soon as we finish our breakfast we go back to Los Angeles and we move on with our lives.” Stephen thought for a second.

“Fine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D  
> OK BYE


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE HAVE IT  
> The most beautiful yet heartbreaking chapter I've written, I hope you like it!!!!!

But if only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine  
I know you'd never leave me behind  
But I am lost this time

  
Are we destined to burn or will we last the night?  
I will hold you 'til I hold you right  
But if only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine

**(Lost - Dermot Kennedy)**

They kept walking in silence. Stephen hid his face behind his camera too many times, clearly avoiding any contact with him. Tony didn’t care. He liked the place, and despite the fight he also liked the company. He was slightly heartbroken because depending on how the next few hours went he would have to go home and simply move on, maybe try to build some friendship with Stephen, but he felt like he wouldn't get anything other than that. A friendship like any other. Probably not as strong and unbreakable as his friendship with Hope and Scott where you can simply not text for three months and you know they're there for you no matter what, but a friendship like those you have where you know the person is there, but you need to reasure yourself a few times a month to make sure that the lack of contact won't destroy it. Maybe that was all he would get now that he lied, now that Stephen thought he couldn't trust him.

“Do you think they’ll talk about me?” Stephen took the camera away from his face to look at Tony, who smiled.

“Oh, definitely. But they don’t know your name. Are you worried?”

Stephen took the picture and let his arms fall next to his body. 

“What’s gonna happen? I mean… What will they talk about?”

“Well, I said we were traveling, we’re alone in a park, and we still have time before we go back home.”

“Do you think they think we’re together?”

“That was the first thing they thought. It’s always the first thing.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m gay, because they know it, because I’m spending my free time with another guy around California instead of being in New York with my sister, or in Sandy Point with my parents, that I’m traveling with you instead of traveling alone, which is something I often do, and also because they think it’s their job.”

“A lot of options. Do you think they liked me? Or do you think they’ll hate me?”

“Why wouldn’t they like you?”

“I don’t know, what if they think we’re boyfriends?”

“What difference does it make, Stephen? You already have a boyfriend and what they think of us doesn’t matter.”

“Maybe they’ll think I’m not good enough for you, maybe they have certain standards that I just can’t reach.”

“You’re insane.”

“I just wanna make sure he’s gonna beat me up for the right reasons.” Tony looked at him, serious.

“He won’t. And what makes you think you’re not good enough for me?”

“What?”

“Why wouldn’t they think you’re good enough for me?”

“You’re almost the love of their lives.”

“So? I still don’t get it, why wouldn’t you be good for me?” Stephen took a deep breath. “Stephen, why do you think you’re not good enough for me?”

“Why would I be?” Tony smiled. “It’s not funny.”

“You have no idea, do you?” Stephen looked at him confused. “God, what did they do to you?” He stopped himself for a second. “I want an answer, Stephen. Why wouldn’t you be good enough for me? Why wouldn’t you be the right person for me?”

“Because I’m not.”

“And what makes you think that? Because I don’t see reasons for you to not be. I don’t know what you’re saying when you say that you’re not the right one for me, because… Because why wouldn’t I fall in love with you?”

“Tony.”

“I’m serious. I can’t see anything that would stop me from seeing you as the right person. Why not? Because they taught you you’re not worthy? Because you think you need to accept everything they do to you? Because you’re stuck with your boyfriend? Is that why? Because you’re damaged?”

“Stop.”

“No, I’m trying to understand, because I could see the right person in you, and I would easily fall in love with you, I mean, god forbid I might already be. Why not? You’re great.” Stephen shook his head.

“You are. And I don’t know what keeps you from seeing, Steph. I swear I’m trying. Do you wanna know what they thought of you?” Stephen shrugged. He knew Tony enough to know he would say it anyway. If he would believe it or not was another story.

There was something about thinking he wasn’t worthy that just made sense in his head. Especially now that Stephen knew Tony was the love of everybody’s life. There was something unreachable in Tony, now. Some fight that Stephen knew he would never be able to win. How could he be good enough for him? Him, Stephen Vincent Strange, the ordinary man whose boyfriend cheats on him every other day, I mean, if he can’t be good enough for Dylan, another ordinary man, how could he be good enough for Tony, the actor, famous and recognizable Tony? There was something inside him thinking about a possible relationship with the man in front of him, a premiere, an event and that's when Tony meets someone better than him, some pretty, talented actor or director. They go out for coffee, they talk about the things they have in common, they talk about fame and they realize they're in love, and Tony realizes that Stephen is a nobody, he's just an ordinary designer, broken, not as fun as the rich actor he is now in love with. Also there was something that made him feel even less worthy when Tony talked about how damaged he was. Damaged Stephen Strange, how dare he even go to bed thinking about being something else to his kind, handsome, talented neighbor? How dare him, ordinary Stephen Strange, think that Tony could fall in love with him? That Tony would see him and they would become something else? A couple? How could Tony, of all people, see in him something worthy of his time? Tony’s time, that now felt precious, expensive. Tony, the man right in front of him, willing to spend time with him, willing to take him on road trips around California. Why? Why was he doing all of that? Stephen couldn’t understand. He couldn’t see it. He felt like a charity case, like the free project Tony was doing just for the good press. 

“They think you’re pretty. God, they think you’re handsome. They saw in you someone uncomfortable with fame, and they probably left mumbling about how we look amazing together, they’re asking themselves if the relationship they think we have is gonna last, because right now you’re just the most intriguing person in their lives and they’re probably praying to all the gods they could pray that what they think we have lasts, because they know nothing about you, the only thing they know is that I shine around you.”

“I asked you to stop.”

“Hey, Stephen.” He shook his head. He was probably the most difficult person to compliment on the planet. “Stephen?”

“What?”

“You’re amazing.” Tony said, looking in his eyes.

He was sure it was unfair. He was sure that thinking of himself as a charity case meant thinking of Tony as someone less than he was. That the idea of Tony doing things for pity meant that Tony was one of those people who doesn't really care about the others, which Stephen knew it was not true. Absolutely not. Tony was kind, Tony cared. Tony showed him in a week all the happiness he hadn't felt in almost a decade. The man in front of him, the actor, the talented Tony spending his time with him because he wanted, not for pity, but because Tony was good, and because Tony actually wanted to spend time with him. And thinking of Tony as a good person, as someone who wanted to be there made him feel something, gave him this good feeling of being slightly, not totally, worthy of Tony's time.

“I’d love to fall in love with you.” Tony said, looking in Stephen's eyes, and his voice echoed in his head.

**_I’d love to fall in love with you. I’d love to fall in love with you. I’d love to fall in love with you. I’d love to fall in love with you. I’d love to fall in love with you._ **

And there it was again. The feeling that Tony didn't know better. Why would he fall in love with Stephen? Stephen had absolutely nothing to offer. He didn't even know where to take Tony on dates, he didn't know what to do with Tony most of the time because he never had it. He never had a healthy relationship where both parties spend some quality time together. Stephen didn't even know how to be near Tony, so what would they do together, why would Tony fall in love with the least interesting person in Los Angeles? How could Tony, of all people, fall in love with him, who had nothing of interesting, completely awkward around him? Completely awkward when facing fame? Who couldn't even speak with people he never met? With Tony's fans? How?

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Tony gave him a half smile.

There’s always this thin line between doing and not doing something, between acting on an impulse and not acting at all. You can think, you can try to measure the consequences, sure, but there’s something you’ll never be able to do. You’ll never, truly know, the consequences of your actions. You’ll never know what awaits you on the other side. There are a few consequences, and they might be the following:

  1. You might scare them away for good
  2. You might scare them for a while, or;
  3. You might get a good response, a good reaction.



Tony thought a lot about the consequences of his actions in those few seconds, while he put the camera behind Stephen, holding the strap with his finger, so he wouldn’t hurt Stephen’s neck, his hand on Stephen’s chest.

Stephen’s heart was beating way faster than he thought it was healthy. He knew what was about to happen, but he didn’t think about the consequences. The only thing Stephen thought was that he would just let himself feel it, enjoy it even if it lasted a few seconds. 

“I always know what I’m saying.” Tony mumbled, his lips only one inch away from Stephen’s lips, and then he kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEBHSAHDAOISJALJSAPASIJFSOUHSFDKDLDIJODSIHJDS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAH LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO HERE WE ARE!!!!!!  
> My plan was to come yesterday, but it's playoffs time and my friend came over so I could dye his hair so... I'm here today
> 
> I hope you like it??????????????? You probably will......

They went back to the car in silence. Tony behind him, thinking about the reaction he had got, because Stephen had kissed him back.

They kissed, and kissed and kissed a bit more. They kissed so much that Tony’s finger holding the camera hurt, so he put the device over his own shoulder and kissed Stephen again. 

There were no consequences, not a care in the world while they were there. No one around could have made them feel bad about kissing. Not even the thought of some of Tony’s fans coming back and taking a picture of them. Nothing mattered.

Not even Rhodey, and especially not Dylan. Stephen was kissing someone because it was good, he was kissing someone because he wanted to. For the first time it didn’t feel like an obligation, he was doing it because he felt like it and it gave him this sensation down his stomach, this little twisting that made him want to kiss Tony more. 

He opened the door and watched Stephen sit next to him, on the passenger seat.

“Can I see it? Can I watch you act?” Tony nodded. He grabbed his phone and opened the first episode of the tv show, giving the cell phone to Stephen. They stayed in the car in silence, during the entire episode.

“That’s good. That’s pretty good. I mean, you’re no Clooney, but you’ll get there.” Tony smiled.

He watched as Stephen watched the second episode, and then the third, the man next to him watching him on the phone screen. It felt good.

“I couldn’t.” Tony admitted. Stephen paused the episode for a second. 

“What?”

“In your first month. Even if I knew, I couldn’t help you. We were traveling between shots. Nevada, Fresno, I couldn’t help you. I wasn’t there. I’m really sorry, Stephen. I did what I could. I sent Nat to check up on you a few times. She told me about South Africa and how she and Bucky were thinking about settling there in a few years so I searched for a house near Cape Town, and I knew that by buying the house she would sit with you inside your house to talk about changing the payment, I did what I could. I was worried about you that week she went there because I’d spent the entire weekend busy and I hadn’t seen you, so I just… I called her on the fourth, to see how you were. I never touched your trash, Stephen, it was just there, and maybe it would help me understand, it would help me know if you needed me, so yeah, I took one second to look inside the bin before throwing my own trash, but I never touched it, I didn't mean to overstep, I- I don't even know why I felt like trying to protect you, I just thought I should, I just thought... I thought... I've heard the way he talks to you and it makes me so angry, I don't understand, I just wanted to help. And when I saw the camera I just felt like I should buy you one so you'd know I was there, that I cared.”

“You changed your name.” Tony nodded. “Your Denny’s name.”

“I knew you would look me up, at least I thought you would, so I changed it. I considered every possibility when we went out, I did my best to keep you away from them as much as possible, because I knew what it would mean.”

“The name of your tv show, we’ve heard it before.” Tony nodded.

“The night we went to the movies, that first night the talk show was talking about it. The season will be back in September, so they’re talking about it everywhere.”

They stayed in silence during the fourth episode. He paused and turned his body to Tony. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m on episode four. Rhodey. You two… You two had something.” Tony nodded.

“How do you know?”

“He was talking about this relationship you guys had and he said these exact same words that Saturday in your living room.” Tony parked his car near the hotel and looked at him.

“It was improvised. I did it. My relationship with Bruce’s character… It feels the same way, it’s almost the same situation, except with Bruce’s character it worked, they like each other, while with Rhodey… I said it. We were shooting the scene and the similarities... ‘We’re a good team, we have this chemistry and we have all these good moments where we don’t need money, and things don’t have to be said for us to say them, but we’re going too fast, Charlie’.’’ Tony said, looking ahead. “He broke my heart, Stephen, with all the strength he had. We have nothing, and I don’t think we would, we’re too different, too equal, and he broke me and I stayed broken for far too long. That puts things into perspective, you know? I don’t feel the same way about him anymore, we’re just friends, we’re two people who grew up together, got lost along the way and tried to reconnect.” 

Stephen looked back to the cell phone, finishing the episode.

“Do you wanna see something?” Stephen nodded. He and Tony crossed the street, stopping in front of the Saroyan Theatre, across the street from the DoubleTree Hotel. He knocked.

“Can I help you?” A security guard appeared, looking at them slightly annoyed. 

“Is Skyla still working?” The man nodded. “Can you tell her Tony Stark is looking for her, please?”

The man disappeared, coming back a minute later with a woman with red hair wearing a black and white suit.

“WOW! My favorite movie star!” She hugged him. “How are you?”

“I'm alright. I was near here, and I was thinking maybe we could show my friend the place.” The woman looked at Stephen, next to him. “This is Stephen.”

“Hi, I’m Skyla. His biggest fan.” She smiled. She let them in. 

“How’s Pepper?”

“Oh, she’s great. I met some fans earlier, maybe you two should talk about bringing the next season to town.” 

“I’ll talk to Stephanie. Just tell me when.” Tony nodded. The woman guided them inside.

“So, we shot part of the second season here, so the deal was that we could use the place and the premiere would be here.” Tony said. Stephen looked around.

“Three thousand people came to see them, they watched episode one with the actors, we had some food. They were outside, part of them were inside, it was crazy. We had some trouble putting his family inside.” Skyla said. Stephen chuckled, impressed. He stood near the seats, watching Tony run to the stage. 

Skyla left, clearly that was the end of her tour. She moved her head to Tony and closed the door behind her, leaving them alone.

“How do I look?” He opened his arms, looking at Stephen with admiration. 

“Important.” Tony smiled. A sincere smile, because that word really hit him. He sat on the edge, his feet swinging, looking at Stephen almost unable to blink, as he was the fan and Stephen was the actor. It was impressive the meaning of that moment for Tony, seeing Stephen there, standing, their eyes locked, as if looking away was too painful. Tony's head was working a million miles an hour, this tickling inside his arms like he could feel the feelings running through his veins. There he was, falling in love with Stephen Strange, eager to leave the stage and kiss him more. He wondered if at some point he would improvise a scene talking about Stephen, because Rhodey didn’t deserve his part, but Stephen deserved everything. He wondered if he would have Stephen watching his next movie at a premiere with him, if he would tell him how nervous he was before every premiere, before every first episode, because he felt like he could open up to him, like he could be himself, regardless of their time together or the unimaginable amount of knowledge they would keep about each other. He would always be, to Tony, the most complex, pretty and kind person Tony could ever meet, and as he stayed there, his feet swinging around, a half smile on Stephen's face, he realized that being with him would be a thousand times better than any experiece he had.

(...)

Stephen slept with his back to Tony, four feet away from him, half of their beds empty, both of them wondering how it would feel like to have one double bed completely ocupied and the other one completely empty. Tony wondered how the sensation of their legs intertwined under the blankets would be. Stephen wondered if he would sleep better if he were being held by someone, if he would fall asleep easily with Tony's fingers touching him. Every sensation was new, every question felt new to him. After the kisses he felt like he had never kissed before Tony, because there was no shame in kissing, no fear, no pressure. The desire for the touch felt like he had never been touched before, of Tony's hands slowly drawing circles in his hand as they cuddled in bed, Tony's breathing on his neck, Tony's smell filling the room, Tony's body next to his, closer, as close as it could be, he imagined waking up and not wanting to leave the bed, of giving up Yosemite and just staying there with him for hours and hours. Everything felt new and that night Stephen wanted it. 

It took Stephen a long time to sleep, because a few things were constantly in his mind: the kiss, the fact that people could be talking about him, and Tony’s voice.

_ I would easily fall in love with you, I mean, god forbid I might already be. _

Stephen grew up with people telling him what they thought, not considering his feelings. He had heard a lot in that life. He had lived a lot, and he was used to that giant bubble around him that always made him care about what other people thought about him, so what those three girls were thinking, mattered.

He didn’t believe the idea that what people thought about you didn’t matter, and that the others didn't care about what other people thought about them. He knew, deep down, that even if the person left their house telling themselves that they didn't care about what other people think, deep down, it was more than just them, that maybe they _were_ worried about what other people thought. Stephen knew that. He was that person. He could try to convince himself that he didn’t care, but he did. He always did. 

And there were the kisses. Oh, the kisses. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He wasn’t that person. He wasn’t the type of person who would simply ignore the fact that he had a boyfriend and just kiss someone else. That was definitely not him. But he wanted. God, how he wanted it! He almost got up, he almost left his bed and climbed Tony's bed just to be near him. He fought the urge of throwing all his principles in the trash just to sleep with Tony's body next to him. Honestly, who cared? 

He did. He cared. He cared because he wondered what Tony would think. What that would mean to him, what the idea of being with Tony while he had a boyfriend would mean in a possible future together.

He knew what he had to do. He had made the decision between leaving back to Santa Monica, or going on with the trip, he just had to wait the next day, so he could talk to Tony. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I did it again I ended like that  
> See you tomorrow??? :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re gonna set the world on fire.”
> 
> “Just ours.”
> 
> AHAHAHAHAHAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HELLO!!!!!!!!!!  
> Here we are again, enjoy!!!!!!!

Stephen woke up to an empty room. The bed next to his was empty, the curtains were closed. He took a shower, got dressed and packed his bag.

In the middle of the empty room he closed his eyes thinking about the things he would say. He had planned everything in the shower, mumbling to himself the words he hoped he'd say to Tony. 

He left the room and went downstairs, trying to not locate Tony on his way to the elevator. 

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” He let the silence for a second. “Tony…” but he was interrupted. 

“Stephen, look…”

“No, please let me talk.” Tony nodded. “I’m not overreacting. I’m not trying to play the victim here, because I need… I need to trust you. I need to, finally, trust someone, I really do, because Victor was the closest I had from a friend for years, and I opened up to you, I let you and your friends in and I let you make me feel good after a long time, so I need to trust you and you didn’t give me that.”

Stephen shut up when a waiter got closer.

“May I help you gentlemen with something?” Tony didn’t want to have breakfast. He wanted to keep listening to Stephen destroy him, without the sound of forks and knives, without the pauses they would make to chew or drink. He wanted Stephen to end things as fast as possible so he could go home, pack his bags and find another place to live, so he wouldn’t have to meet Stephen on the side entrance.

“We’re good, thank you.” The man left them alone. 

“I wouldn’t have spoken to you, Tony, if I knew who you were. I really wouldn’t. You’re around, people recognize you, your face is everywhere, and that’s good for you, sure, but not for me. I can’t give myself the luxury of risking things with Dylan.”

“I can protect you, Stephen. Just tell me you’re willing to get into my life and I’ll protect you.”

“You can’t. You think you can, but I slept thinking about it and you can’t. There’s nothing you can do.”

“You don’t know that.” Stephen smiled. He knew.

“I know, Tony. I know what he’s capable of when it comes to being in control. I live with him, we’ve been together since high school. You were good to me, you were, but you can’t protect yourself, and you can’t protect me all the time. I saw my best friend almost die in his hands, Tony, just because he  _ thought  _ I was cheating on him, I can’t see him doing that again.”

“Please, Stephen. Believe me. Don’t give up on this.”

“It’s not worth the price. Not for me, but for you. It’s an unnecessary risk.”

“What if I want it?”

“It’s not my problem. It’s a two-way street, you need both sides wanting it, or it won’t work.” Tony nodded. He wanted a new friend. You never know you want a new friend until you find one, and Stepehen… Tony really wanted that friendship. Or whatever that was. 

Stephen got up, and Tony watched him find the counter and get what he would eat for breakfast.

“You should eat. It will be a long day.” Tony opened his mouth, feeling kinda bad. He really needed, but he really wanted to go home to end things as fast as possible. He didn’t wanna lose time with breakfast, but Stephen was already there and he knew he couldn’t leave the table while Stephen was still eating, so he just accepted.

He got up and went to the counter to grab his own food. Stephen was waiting for him when he got back, his food untouched. He thought about all the flaws he couldn’t find in Stephen. The only one he had found so far was the lack of self confidence. 

Even his breakfast seemed perfect and Tony found it slightly annoying. He didn’t know if it was on purpose, if Stephen was doing that to impress, because that seemed a bad sign. If Tony was leaving Ocean Park Boulevard, falling in love with Stephen was a terrible, terrible idea, or a great idea, if you think about how his feelings would go away if he stopped seeing Stephen.

(...)

“Can I drive?” Tony nodded. He didn’t want to have nothing to do, but if Stephen wanted to drive then why not? “Thank you.”

They left the hotel and Tony looked at him. He connected his cell phone on the radio and put the Seafret song to play.

“That’s the theme song.” Stephen nodded.

“I downloaded it last night. The soundtrack is pretty good.” Tony smiled.

“Thank you.” 

They stayed in silence for a second.

“What are you doing? You missed the entrance.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Of course you did, you were supposed to have turned right."

"Tony, Yosemite is that way." It took Tony a minute. His brain was so focused on going home, packing and leaving that he completely forgot where they were going. 

"But you said…" Stephen nodded. He found a place to park the car, making sure they were safe.

"I meant every word. I need to trust you, Tony, I need to know we're… I'm giving you one chance, but you need to know something, and this is important, so please pay attention. I’ve spent the last ten years of my life with Dylan, and he might not know me, but I know him, I do, and I need to tell you this. Whatever that kiss meant, whatever  _ this _ is, I need you to know that if I ever feel like you’re in danger, in any way, I’m out, do you understand me?”

“Stephen…”

“I need you to promise me, Tony, because if I  ignore the risks and something happen I won’t forgive myself, and I can’t give myself that luxury.” Stephen looked to the road. “I can’t watch him destroy another good person in my life, so I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe, and you need to understand that. When senior year ended he hit me for the first time, and I was so scared of going back home that I went to a friend’s house, and he found me there and if it weren't for my friend’s father, I- I don’t know what could have happened, Tony, and there are no fathers around this time, so I can’t let that happen again. I- I-” 

“Hey. I understand.” Tony held his hand. “I get it.”

“Okay. Also… I meant what I said, and I feel, for some reason, that I can trust you, so this trip is your chance.” Tony nodded. Stephen turned the key and started driving again.

Tony had his eyes on his cell phone as Stephen drove. The playlist of the first season had already ended. 

“They like you.” Stephen frowned, confused. “And yes, they are talking about you.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re everywhere on twitter. People are asking about you like crazy. And I also searched Tony and unknown on Twitter. Hear this out.”

“A girl named Alex, probably one of the girls from yesterday said “He was with someone” so Emily asked “someone as in a cast mate?” and Alex said “No, someone I’ve never seen before” Emily again “Do you have a name?” and Alex said “He didn’t introduce him to us, but they’re traveling together” and Emily said “they’re together? What? How was he like?” and Alex again “He was gorgeous, and if he’s just a straight friend I want him.” Tony smiled.

“I’m gonna like one of the tweets”

“Don’t do it!” Tony smiled, thinking about which he would like. “Tony.”

“What? Check this out. A girl just joined a conversation, Lea “They were  _ together _ , there were hands and everything and the guy seemed really uncomfortable for being disturbed.” and Alex said “He didn’t say a single word” and Emily again “God, Tony has a boyfriend exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point…”

“I got it. Lots of exclamation points” They smiled. 

“They have nothing on you. There are a lot of people freaking out and saying they’re lying to get attention. I think I’ll like the boyfriend tweet.”

“DON’T LIKE THE BOYFRIEND TWEET” Stephen said, almost laughing. “You’re gonna set the world on fire.”

“Just ours.” Tony looked at him, hiding his smile. “Look, they have nothing on you, you don’t have to worry about it, okay? They won’t find anything without a picture or a name.” Stephen nodded. 

Tony opened twitter again, liking a tweet or two on his timeline and sending a reply to a couple of fans.

_ “@TonyStark: I hope you guys have a week as amazing as mine.” _

_ “@TonyStark: I’ll be away the next few days to take some time to myself. See you soon! :)” _

_ “@TonyStark: You’re all amazing, don’t you ever forget that. I love you!”  _

_ “@PumpTony: @TonyStark: are you really leaving?” _

_ “@TonyStark: @PumpTony just taking some time to enjoy what I have with me, I’ll be back as soon as HE gets boring.”  _

He saw a few tweets about Stephen, but he didn’t reply to them. He put a new playlist to play on the radio, with his own phone.

“That’s a new one. The producers texted us the link two days ago.”

“It’s for the new season? Oh. My. God.” Tony laughed. They listened to the first five songs.

“That's so good, oh wow.”

They stayed in silence for a second. Stephen put his right hand between them, one hand on the wheel, the other waiting for Tony's hand, and Tony held it. 

Inside Stephen that was the representation of everything he hated the most in life. He felt like a hypocrite, because at first he really suffered every time Dylan cheated on him, and now he was there, letting himself go. It was what Stephen thought he needed. It was the strength he thought he needed. Having Tony, so he could break up with Dylan.


	20. Overtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the start of a wild ride, so buckle up!!

See, when I found you  
All the doors were locked  
Know I was aiming to turn that round  
Take the weight off you  
Push away the rocks  
'Cause they will only slow you down  
  
I'll find a space in your heart  
And maybe I could come with you  
I could be more than a lover  
More than a lover to you

Down in this heart of mine  
Love's working overtime  
I'm bound to fall  
For you, I'd lose it all  
Don't you know  
Let's take it slow

(Overtime - Seafret)

Stephen parked the car and got out. He met Tony behind the vehicle, and Tony opened the trunk, grabbing a box with the things they would need. Stephen got the tent that he had brought. They organized everything in the right place.

They had found this empty clearing a few meters away from the main road. It was a good place to talk, calm, quiet, and there was a waterfall not far from there.  Tony looked at him, Stephen’s body against the car, his eyes closed, breathing the fresh air for a second.

“Hey.” Tony stood in front of him. “What’s wrong?”

Stephen took a deep breath. Tony’s hand held his waist.

“I have a boyfriend.” Tony closed his eyes. “I- I…”

Stephen couldn’t think straight. He wanted to know what he and Tony would have. Was that a friendship? Would that become a relationship? Were they having fun? What was that? Stephen was scared of saying something, of asking and ruining things, or making things awkward, but he needed to know. He needed because depending on what Tony would say to him he would NEVER allow himself to get involved. There was something inside him that made him think about having fun, falling in love and watching Tony leave him for someone else. His heart couldn’t afford that. 

“What are we doing, Tony? I can’t cheat on him.” 

“We’re knowing each other. We’re seeing where this goes.”

“What happens if it works? What will you think of me? That I’m gonna do the same thing I’m doing with him?”

“I wouldn’t give you reasons for that.”

“That’s not how this works.” He took Tony’s hand away from his waist. “We need to take things slowly.”

“Do you wanna break up with him first?” Stephen took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what I want, to be honest, I wanna be here and I totally wanna see where this goes, but I can’t stop thinking about what you would say, what you’d think if this works.”

“Listen, I know it’s not how it works, I know you’re conflicted because you’re loyal, but I like you and I know you’ve been through a lot, I also know you’re the most amazing person I’ve met and that you need reassurance, that you need reasons to leave him, I know you need my word, so I promise you, whatever happens between the moment we left Ocean Park to the moment you break up with him, I promise I won’t hold it against you. Never.” Tony touched his face. “You deserve to be happy, Stephen, way more than I deserve to be right and way beyond that. You deserve it way more than he does, and way more than your loyalty to him, so I will never, no matter what happens between us, never use it against you.”

“Still, my head won’t let me forget it.”

“Stephen, regardless of you being with Dylan or not, I want you to know that I see something in you and that I wanna know you and after that I wanna be with you. What do you mean by ‘slowly’?”

“No touching.” Tony nodded. “Nothing but… Kisses?” Tony smiled.

“I can work with that.”

They set up camp and looked at each other. What would they do now?

Stephen got the camera and his backpack and Tony got a map of the reserve that they had bought at the gas station before getting there.

“We’re somewhere here.” Stephen looked at him, smiling. “What?”

“How are you so sure?”

“I pay attention to things. So, we can walk about twenty minutes east to get to the waterfall, or we can walk thirty-five minutes north to the cliff and about thirty minutes east of that to climb it.” Stephen kept his eyes on him, a smile on his face.

“And the numbers come with paying attention?”

“Well, a number I can say for sure is the number of people sleeping outside the tent if they keep making fun of me.” Stephen smiled, giving him a peck on the lips.

“We can go to the waterfall today and drive to the cliff tomorrow and go up on foot.” Tony nodded. “And then what?”

“We can take the road to the coast when we get tired of this place, then we spend Saturday, Sunday and Monday driving through Highway one, if you want.” 

“Sounds good.” 

(...)

They were in the tent, one in front of the other. Tony’s legs over Stephen’s thighs, around his waist, Stephen’s hands on Tony’s thighs, Tony sitting between his legs. 

“Why are you still with him?” Wow, Tony, subtle. 

“It’s not that simple. There’s a lot of control involved, a lot of fear in whatever that is.” Tony touched his face.

“I meant what I said about you coming with me, Stephen. We can still take things slow, you know? Really know each other before we share a room, you could come with me.”

“What do you mean with ‘come’? Where are you going?”

“There’s a movie, hm, we start shooting in October, in London.” Stephen stayed in silence. He took Tony’s hand from his face and put his own arms away from Tony.

“Stop doing this, Steph. Don’t pull me away when you want me closer, I wanna take you with me.”

“It’s not that simple.” 

“You keep saying that, just do it. Why not? You’ll go to work, you can do what you like, we can stay together…”

“Listen to me, you’re not listening. I am scared, Tony. I am, I am scared every day. I live in fear, you know? Being here with you… God, I wanna stay here forever, but I don’t know who you want me to be.”

“We can do this together.”

“You promised me, you said you understood.” Tony nodded. “You can’t win if you fight him. There’s no chance.” Tony nodded. “Thank you. I just need to make sure that what I can do, I’m doing. I need to know it’s enough.”


	21. In the moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I CRIED AT WORK WRITING THIS (bc I had a break I have some work ethics still left in me ok? ok) SO GOOD LUCK YOU'LL NEED IT
> 
> (YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!)

The walk to the waterfall seemed scarier than Stephen thought. He had only the flashlight of his cell phone, and the sounds… The sounds… He wondered for a second what would happen if he disappeared there. From his experience watching tv shows his best odd was in the first 48 hours, and then it was up to fate. Would Tony look for him? Would Dylan find out? He clearly couldn’t disappear there. Not because of him, but because Dylan would know he and Tony were together in Yosemite, camping, alone, and Dylan wouldn’t have him as a punching bag, so he’d use Tony instead. No. Disappearing there wasn’t an option. He promised himself that he would keep Tony safe. 

It took him more than twenty minutes. Every single leaf, every tree and stick around him covered in darkness. Not even the moon had shown up that night, and the lack of light made him feel alone. There was always something that made him feel alone. The fact that he had Tony sleeping next to him but he decided to get up at two am and walk alone in the middle of a park to a waterfall made him feel alone. He wasn’t planning on doing it, he accidentally did. He woke up and the sound of Tony’s breathing made him smile, and the lack of light, there, inside the tent made him feel safe, because Tony was there, and that was enough, but he still chose to get up and walk to the waterfall. There was something he had been meaning to do, something he couldn’t do at home, but now it felt like a good moment for it. He had questions, and before that June, his questions were always answered by someone. By  _ him.  _

He sat on the rock, the sound of the water falling, and the moon appeared from behind the clouds only for a second and disappeared again.

“Hey little brother.” he said to the night, to nothing specific. “Can you hear me? Where are you? Are you back on Earth? Are you somewhere in the void? Are you in heaven? Are you a dog now? Oh, I hope you’re a tibetan terrier, please.” Stephen chuckled. “I miss you. I miss you so much every day. I feel like life is a simulation since you were gone. You're the only person I thought I could never live without. I don’t blame you, and I really, really hope you’re in a better place. I will be okay, Victor. I know I’ve said that too many times, but I feel like I will.” 

He stopped himself, looking up. He was sure that the view there would be breathtaking if it wasn’t cloudy. The moon was gone, and again he was left to only the light of the flashlight. 

“I could really, really use some advice right now. I’ve been thinking in the past couple of days and I honestly don’t know how I survived so many years. How did I? You need to tell me, from your out-of-this-world perspective, because I don’t know. I’m okay now, I’m… I’m happy? I mean, I don’t even know how to call it, but there’s something good in me now, some… Hope. Some warmth. I met someone. He’s an actor and I feel like you’ve probably watched him, he’s lead in one of those post-apocalyptic shows you used to watch, so maybe you’ve seen him before me, who knows? And he is probably the most perfect human on Earth. Can you believe he likes  _ me?  _ Me of all people. I mean, he sees something in  _ me,  _ little brother. You two would be great friends, can you imagine the two people who actually see something in me together? I think about it and I imagine him being good to you too, and it makes me feel full, but it also breaks me, and I’m so scared I’ll ruin everything, because I don’t know if he likes me this much, if he likes me enough to stick around despite all the crap around me. And I don’t know how to be brave enough to break up with Dylan so I can be with him. I don’t even know if I want to keep this whole thing with Tony, because I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to do it, I spent nine years getting humiliated and beaten and I’m still not brave enough. What do you think?” 

He stayed in silence, waiting for a sound, for a “hoo-hoooo” from an owl, or the howling of a wolf in the distance, but he got nothing. 

“I think that if you were here you’d take an airplane and break up with him yourself, but you’re not, so you need to tell me, you need to help me, because I don’t know if it’s worthy. I don’t know if Tony likes me enough for that, I mean, we barely know each other, how can he? I don’t even know if I’m good enough for him, if I’m… I have so many questions, so much doubt, and I know you’d tell me, wouldn’t you? To toughen up and just go for it, but you’re not, so you can’t blame me for being insecure, because I don’t have you, and I don’t blame you, but you’re not here to tell me.” 

Stephen stopped talking again. He contemplated the silence. His eyes closed. 

“I just wanna know if it’s worthy.” He whispered. He opened his eyes again, and maybe it was a sign, maybe it was just nature following its course, but the moon came out again and for the next few minutes the skies were a little more visible than before. Stephen looked at the stars, to the moon brightening the waterfall, lighting the leaves, the rocks, himself, and it could have been only nature, only our galaxy working as it has been working for billions of years, but that night, that night in particular the idea of the moon appearing like that felt like Victor’s answer, and for a moment Stephen felt embraced, he felt like something inside him had turned and as he stared at the moon the loneliness inside him was gone. 

Stephen would never know if it was his brain reading into something that wasn’t true, but hope held on to that moment, to the light of the moon around him, making his flashlight almost useless, and the stars appearing in a cloudy night, and he accepted that as a sign, as Victor telling him it was worthy, as Victor telling him he was there, even if Stephen weren’t even sure if his brother was somewhere in the void, or in heaven, or on Earth as a tibetan terrier, he just kept that light inside of him. Maybe it wasn’t Victor, maybe it was the universe, maybe it was anything but that, it didn’t matter. Hope is a dangerous thing, it holds onto things that seem trivial, but Stephen didn''t care and wouldn’t let go of it. 

Putting his faith in Tony was something he had to do, after all. That was the sign, wasn't it?

He smiled, hugging his knees and looked up. The moon was still there. 

Back in the tent Tony was awake. 

“God, I looked for you everywhere.” Stephen crawled to his side of the sleeping bag. “Stephen?” But Stephen didn’t say a single word. “Do you want to talk?”

“No. Can I hold you?”

“Of course. You don’t need to ask.” He moved to Tony’s side, putting one arm around him. The other one he used to support his body as he leaned over Tony’s face and kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOK THAT WAS WILD AND IT TOTALLY WASN'T IN THE TRANSLATION, BUT I THOUGHT STEPHEN NEEDED A MOMENT OF CLARITY BEFORE MOVING FORWARD SO I WROTE IT AND HERE WE ARE I HOPE Y'ALL LIKED IT!!!!!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY

_ “@TonyStark: what if we run away?” _

Tony put his cell phone under the sleeping bag again. The battery was dying and he thought about the chargers he had bought with Rhodey that day on the fourth of July. 

He got up carefully, letting Stephen sleep.

He had woken up with this weird feeling in his chest, like an anguish, like something was wrong, and he knew what that was.

If he could be anywhere in the world, with anyone else he still would be there, and that was bad.

After going to sleep with the promise that he wouldn’t do anything about Dylan, and after listening to what Dylan did with Stephen’s friends in high school he was sure of one thing.

Stephen wouldn’t break up the relationship. He wouldn’t be the one to end things, and Stephen was scared for the two of them. He knew he wouldn’t do anything, that he couldn’t get involved, because he had promised, and Stephen would take the promise as the most important thing in their lives. 

It was bittersweet. Having Stephen like that, but not having him entirely. Tony would have him during that time, but he was sure that in two weeks from there he wouldn’t.

It was the best and the worst of both worlds. It was agonizing, it was good, it was dangerous and pure at the same time, and it was making him lose his mind.

No one could help them. What would someone do? Tony would get a third person involved? He would put one of his friends to fight a battle that was meant to be his?

He went back to the tent, finding Stephen sleeping on his stomach, his left arm under the pillow, his right arm next to his body. 

Tony lay next to him, putting his head under Stephen’s arms, lying on his side. His face got closed to Stephen’s and Stephen moved his arm, involving Tony with it. 

“Thank you.” Tony whispered. Stephen nodded, his eyes still closed, half smiling.

Tony kissed his lips, then his cheeks, his chin and Stephen’s neck.

“Tony, stop” Stephen mumbled. The younger one ignored him. He kissed Stephen’s lips again. Stephen took a deep breath and threw his legs over Tony’s waist, staying on top of him, pressing his arms on the sleeping back.

“I asked you to please stop. I know what you’re doing.” Tony kept his eyes on him. He moved his waist, trying to get a bit more comfortable and ignored Stephen’s hands holding his arms down. He moved his torso up, kissing Stephen again. 

Stephen leaned his body, trying to bring Tony back to the sleeping bag and he sat again.

“I asked you to stop.” 

“What difference would it make?” Tony asked.

“I can’t. I don’t wanna do this and regret it later." Tony moved his body, pushing Stephen away from him. “Tony, come on.”

Tony left the tent. Stephen followed him.

“Stop!” Stephen asked, and watched Tony turn around to face him.

“Why? Because this is bigger than you?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because it will be my fault, you know? We will be together, and then we won’t, because I always want what I can’t have. And you'll move on with him and I'll stay there thinking that we could have had more, that I could have showed you... That maybe if I had done more, maybe you'd choose me."

“What happened to taking things slowly?”

“What difference does it make? I feel like we’ll go so slow we’ll stop, won’t we?” Stephen didn’t answer. He watched Tony disappear among the trees.

(...)

Tony was sitting on a rock, looking at the waterfall. Stephen kneeled behind him, his hands on Tony’s arms, his lips kissing his shoulder.

Tony put his hand over Stephen’s and closed his eyes. Stephen sat behind him, one leg on the right side of Tony’s body, the left leg behind him.

“I’m sorry.” Tony said, Stephen’s lips still on his shoulder. Stephen didn’t want to take them out of there.

“It’s gonna be like this, won’t it?” Stephen whispered. He felt like if they built a relationship that they would have a few arguments on their way. “I’m sorry too.”

“I was childish. If you want to take things slow… Take your time, Stephen, just don’t forget me. I’ll be waiting for you.” Stephen nodded.

“You know…” Stephen put his chin on his shoulder. “He cheats on me. All the time.” Tony pulled his arm, so Stephen could hug him.

“How do you know that?” Stephen put his other leg around him, and now Tony was between his legs. Tony put his head on his chest.

“There is this bar, the Golden Gopher, we used to go there when we got to LA. One of the guys who work with me work there at night.”

“Does he tell you that?”

“Dylan and I… We don’t have a relationship. We don’t have a normal life, we don’t have a peace zone, you know? We are always fighting, he spends some days away and when he’s back we fight again. I know when he cheats on me, because Gabriel looks at me with this pity eye when I arrive at the agency the next day. I always know that Dylan was there at the Golden Gopher and he left the place with someone else, because he looks at me with this look… He never tells me, he doesn’t have to. I think we’re both too ashamed to say something, so it’s just implied.

“I’m sorry, Steph.” 

“It's okay.” Stephen hugged his waist. He kissed Tony’s face. “I don’t wanna be him. I don’t wanna be this monster who…” Stephen kissed his shoulder again. “I wanna do this the right way, Tony, I wanna build this the right way at least once. I wanna build this right thing away from all the darkness in my life, but I need your help.” Tony nodded. He put his arm in Stephen’s neck. Stephen closed his eyes.

“I can do that. I can make things good for you. I promise.” Stephen nodded.

"You don't have to convince me to choose you, did you know that? I'd choose you a million times." He kissed Tony's shoulder again. "I was here late last night. I sat on this very rock and I wondered if all of this will last, if you'll stick around and if we'll build a relationship together."

"And your conclusion?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Tony smiled. He closed his eyes. The thing about Tony is that he always falls. And he falls fast. And his imagination go to places impossible to come back from and he tries to protect himself from that. As he had done since Rhodey, and something in the way Stephen said his name, something in the way Stephen hugged him, kissed him, as if Tony was the last man on Earth, something about how closeness was never close enough made him fall. Fast. Hard. And there he was, daydreaming about a future. 

The thing about Stephen was that he had never felt like that. He had never had a feeling like that. He had never been touched, hugged, kissed like the other person meant it. Not even in the beginning with Dylan things felt the way it felt with Tony, because in the beginning there was the fear of being caught by his parents, by their classmates, there was the humiliation Dylan put him through to hide what they had together to the rest of the world. Now that? That was what he had never had felt before. Happiness like no other, heartbeats so intense that he felt like passing out most of the time, even Tony's body felt warmer than Dylan's because Stephen wanted to be there, Stephen was open, Stephen was feeling good, and by feeling good he would put everything he had in showing Tony he wanted to be there, he would kiss him like he never had before, he would hug him afraid that Tony left, and they would simply feed each others feelings.

Stephen would treat him like the last man on Earth, and Tony would fall for it and would try to show him Stephen was all he wanted, which would make Stephen treat him like the last man on Earth and that, for a second, seemed dangerous, reckless, because in the outside, in the world, away from the woods, away from the perfect fairy tale they were living in that trip there were fans, there was Dylan, there was fear, there was doubt. There was time to know each other, truly, each others fears, each others flaws and thoughts and falling so fast and so hard was like closing their eyes to everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STILL HAVE NOTHING TO SAY


	23. trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a few days bc the translation is over. I just finished it!!!!!  
> This story has a special place in my heart, firstly because it was the first story I wrote based on my life experiences (with the trip to Cali and all) and second bc it represents my trip and it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. The house is real, the flip flop story is real, the Arclight at Santa Monica Place was real, so much of it happened (not like Steph and Tony) but this is my story, you know? And I'm so happy I get to share it with people! Thank you for your support and thanks for sticking around :D

On Sunday morning, Tony went down to the car, in the hotel they had spent the night, in Morro Bay, to pick up the bag he had forgotten. When he went back to the bedroom the noise was coming from the bathroom.

Stephen was taking a shower, his voice singing what he had learned from the theme song of the tv show those few days.

Tony thought his trip couldn’t get better until that moment. Stephen’s voice was amazing and he seemed like he was having a good time.

Tony closed his eyes, a smile on his face, standing in the middle of the room.

Stephen left the shower a couple minutes later. Shirtless, carrying his cell phone and a toiletry bag in his hands.

“Good morning.” Tony leaned his head to the right, and closed one eye.

“I just heard you sing, I’ll have to think twice about that.” 

“Fuck you.” Stephen said, a half smile. 

“If you want.” Stephen opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry.” Tony realized he had crossed a line. Stephen smiled.

He put his things on the nightstand and got closer. He put one hand on Tony’s neck, the other one on his waist and kissed him.

Stephen’s body was warm and wet from the shower. That was the first thing he thought. Tony put his cold hands on Stephen’s waist, pulling him closer.  Stephen sat on the bed, bringing him to his lap, his legs around his body. Stephen moved his hand up, Tony's t-shirt going up as Stephen's hand got closer and closer to his neck. Tony pulled his body away.

“We have to go.” Stephen’s mind seemed to go back to reality. He nodded, his eyes closed. Tony knew that nothing would stop Stephen from regretting that if they didn’t stop. Tony had promised.

Stephen kept his hands around Tony’s body, holding him a little bit stronger, his eyes still closed, feeling Tony’s breath so close to his face.

“I don’t think the wait is worth it.” Stephen whispered. Tony smiled, his eyes also closed. He opened them and put his hand on Stephen’s face.

Stephen opened his eyes, finding Tony’s brown eyes looking at him. Tony smiled.

“Then you’re not paying attention.” Tony whispered. He gave Stephen a kiss. “I’ll take a shower. Make sure you won’t forget your flip flops this time.” Stephen nodded, his heart racing. 

Stephen had forgotten his flip flops in the hotel they had stayed in San Jose, the day before, so they had to stop to buy a new one.

Tony didn’t wanna leave, but he gave Stephen a last kiss and got up, taking the bag he got in the car with him.

(...)

Stephen had discovered a new love. Seafret. He kept listening to Monster, singing what he knew, and every time he listened he seemed to sing a little more. 

Tony turned off the radio.

“HEY!” He smiled.

“So, what’s next? You’re putting a poster with my face in your room?”

“Oh, god, no, but hopefully I will put a picture of you on my lockscreen, some day.” Tony smiled, looking at him for a second.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Well, then, we have a deal.” Tony nodded. He parked his car a few minutes later in Pismo Beach. They had spent part of the morning taking pictures in Morro Bay, then they took the Cabrillo Highway to the city.

Tony drove down Cabrillo Highway for a while and stopped at a viewpoint by the ocean. 

“Come. There’s a place you need to see.” Stephen reached for the camera. “We need to leave this one in our memory.” Stephen nodded. He followed Tony outside. He walked half a mile along a white fence and jumped it. It was the perfect time of day to do that.

“That’s the worst idea ever.” Stephen complained, as he looked at the steep trail in front of him. 

“Be careful.”

“Oh don’t say it!” Tony laughed. He went first, as slow as he could, to make sure he wouldn’t fall. The two of them got to the sand and kept walking. Stephen’s feet touched the water when they tried to walk around a rock. The water wet his feet.

“Oh, we’re not gonna live to see another day, will we?” He joked.

“Do you wanna go back?” Stephen looked over his shoulder. He had no idea how they would go back. The trail seemed too steep for them to go through there. 

“We could be arrested, couldn’t we? There was a fence, why did we come here?” Tony chuckled, shaking his head. He gave his hand to Stephen to hold.

“You’re insane.” Tony let go of his hand for a second and climbed another rock, jumping to the other side. Stephen did the same. When he jumped to the sand his jaw dropped.

“You’re kidding me!” Tony smiled. “You… wow.” 

“Come.” Stephen followed him to the place. There was a viewpoint by the ocean, the waves hitting the rocks. In the viewpoint a spiral staircase to nowhere was standing there, lonely. *********

At some point in the past that staircase was connected to the cliff by a ramp, so people could walk down the ramp, down the staircase and get to the beach, but with time the ramp fell, and only the stair survived. 

Tony used the rocks to get to the viewpoint, and they went up the stairs, sitting on the last step. 

“How do you find these places?” Tony shrugged.

“I came here with Carol and the rest of our group last year. We drove from LA to San Francisco, so we met some people, visited some places, and the places those people knew.

“Was Rhodey here?” Tony shook his head, denying. He smiled and looked away, to the horizon.

“Look at me.” Stephen did what he asked. Tony kissed him. “Keep this image with you.”

Stephen nodded. He hugged Tony’s body, and put his head on his shoulder. A couple of hours later the sun was setting. 

Stephen looked at him, taking Tony’s phone from his hand. He kissed him, taking a picture.

“Now you have your lock screen.” Tony rolled his eyes looking at the picture. The orange sun setting in the horizon, their silhouettes kissing, you could barely recognize them. 

“You’re so cheesy. I like it. Let’s go. Let’s eat something.” Tony made a phone call.

“Hey, pretty” The person on the other side rolled their eyes. 

“Wow, you need my help.” 

“I’m at our place.” They smiled.

“Of course you are. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She hung up.

“Help is on its way.” Tony looked at the sun again. “Do you wanna go?”

“Not really.” Stephen put his lips on his head, kissing him. He watched as Tony put the picture as his phone screen. He was amazed with the way Stephen made him feel. How everything seemed too important to not pay attention, how he thought he would never get tired of feeling that way. 

They kissed a little more, took a few other pictures and heard a whistle coming from the edge and someone waving for them.

They went down the stairs carefully and a rope ladder was thrown for them to climb it. She tied the ladder on the fence and watched as Tony climbed up first, and Stephen followed.

"That was probably the craziest thing I've done, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal." Stephen said when his feet touched the ground. "I loved it."

Tony smiled. He and the woman hugged each other.

"And you’re the boyfriend.” Stephen smiled. 

“Not yet. I’m Stephen.” He shook his hand. 

“I’m Maria. Not yet, interesting.” Tony rolled his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“We camped in Yosemite, went down the highway from San Jose and we’ll be back in Los Angeles tomorrow.”

“So you’re sleeping here?” They looked at each other and nodded. Stephen gave him his hand, and Tony intertwined their fingers. “Great! Let’s go out tonight, I have a lot to learn, don’t I?” Tony rolled his eyes. 

“We left the car at the viewpoint.”

“Get in. I’ll leave you there. You owe me one, so you’re paying tonight.” Tony smiled. He sat on the passenger seat, Stephen on the backseat and Maria started the car.

“How is she?” Stephen frowned.

“She’s fine. How are you?”

“Well, you know…” 

“Ma…”

“It’s fine.” Tony looked ahead.

“I came to Pismo with Scott, Hope, Carol and Chris last year. First night in Pismo we were having dinner at this restaurant, right? And Carol looks at me and she says she wants to try something different. I mean, she had just turned eighteen. I told her she wouldn’t drink, but she shakes her head and points to a woman, eight years older than her standing a few feet away from us. She and Chris left the table to talk and Chris comes back saying that Carol was gone.” Maria smiled. “I just lost my mind, I mean, I searched everywhere, but nothing. My mom was gonna kill me, I mean, I had lost my eighteen-year-old sister in California.” Stephen looked at him and smiled. “Chris knew everything. She already knew Maria. A cousin of hers had a friend that studied with her, or something.” Maria nodded.

“Yeah, so my best friend is Chris’s cousin, and we met once, and the reason you were at the restaurant was that she recommended.” Tony nodded.

“Wait. Carol?” Stephen was in awe. “The girl I met and you? Carol Stark and you? Oh, wow.”

“We spent a week beyond planned here and we would go to the stairs every afternoon to watch the sunset. Chris and I were third wheel to the two couples, so the four of us left Pismo Beach without Carol. She and Maria stayed together for a while while we were on our trip. Three weeks later we came back and…”

“And we broke up. She stayed with me for three weeks and then it was over.” Stephen looked at the woman behind the wheel. It didn’t seem right, in his mind, an eighteen-year-old and her together for three weeks. 

Stephen didn’t know what to say. Half of him believed that everything was wrong, but at the same time he felt like Maria had the best of the intentions. Looking from the backseat he felt like something inside Maria hurt and Stephen knew what it was. If Carol was half the person Tony was, then Maria had every reason to have something hurt inside her.

It was inevitable to not think that their time together was passing way too fast, and that in two weeks he would have his boyfriend back, and that he and Tony would… Stephen didn’t know what was waiting for them. He didn’t know if everything would hurt more inside of him than inside of Tony. 

******* so the staircase to nowhere doesn't exist anymore, but you know, that's an alternative universe anyway, so let's pretend it does.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY'RE SO CUTE I WANNA SCREAM  
> STEPHEN PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU.  
> ALSO HELLO MARIA!!! We have a lot to unpack with this new relationship that just arrived  
> See y'all on Sunday? Or Saturday? IDK


	24. Chapter 24

Tony and Stephen got in Tony's car. The radio was left untouched. Tony glanced at him and kept driving, both of them in silence.

“What?” Stephen shook his head. “Is it because of Carol?”

“I don’t know, Tony. There are years of experience between them.” 

"I didn't like it either, but what was I supposed to do? They're both adults, they were both doing what they wanted to do. I talked to Carol a few days later, she said she was happy, and when they broke up both of them were devastated, we didn't know what to do, how to help them. I keep thinking about what would happen if I put them in the same room again because I know they were good to each other regardless of their age, but there was nothing else I could have done, I think. Carol is the most independent woman I know, if I had done something to keep her from seeing Maria she would probably never talk to me again, so we just trusted her. She's my best friend, I'm her best friend, Steph, she said if there was something that she thought it was wrong happening she would tell me, she would leave." Stephen nodded, in silence.

They got a hotel room and found Maria outside The Boardroom. 

"We'll be there in a second." Maria nodded, getting in. Stephen leaned against the car and Tony stopped in front of him

"Are you really okay?" Stephen took a deep breath. He pulled Tony to himself and nodded.

"I'm sorry I'm okay with this okay?" Tony nodded. "I am." He patted Tony's waist. "Come on, I wanna see you drunk."

"You wish." Tony pulled him by the hand to the bar. They found Maria at a table. Stephen sat across from her, with Tony next to them. 

"I didn't know Tony Stark had an almost boyfriend."

"It's a long story." Maria smiled.

"So start from the beginning."

"Well." Stephen looked at her. "He started digging my trash."

Tony rolled his eyes, which made Stephen smile. Maria raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know how things are in Australia, Tony, but here in America we like to give people some privacy." Maria joked.

"It's not like that. He's my neighbor. We share the bin, his trash is just there when I throw mine."

"Sure." Stephen said, ironic. "He also lied about his ex and his profession." 

"Hey!" Tony protested. "Coming from the man who doesn't accept a compliment, doesn't wanna leave his job to come work with me in London, doesn't drink and only eats fast-food."

"In my defense you only know about what I eat because you pay attention to my trash. Also the way he makes it sound so simple to abbandon a job and simply move to London? What is this? How is it like to live in this alternative reality of yours?" 

"Okay, how long have you two been digging each other's trash?"

"About ten days." Tony said. Maria seemed shocked.

"And you're already traveling together?"

"What are you talking about? You lived with my sister for three weeks less than a week after you met her."

"Okay, fine. I'll allow that."

"By the way, have you found someone else?" Stephen tried to not look at him.

"He's also pretty good at asking the most inappropriate questions. He just throws them in the air. Those questions completely uncomfortable to answer ." 

"Yeah, he does that. Yes, Tony, I found someone. Not as young but definitely with less life experience than your sister, so it's not as amazing, you know? I loved your sister. She always had this thing where she would relate anything with a different culture, with an experience in a foreign country, someone country she had visited, something she had lived. Dani doesn't do that, but I like her a lot." 

Tony nodded. Under the table he felt Stephen's hand in his thigh, so he put his own hand over his. It was a simple gesture, innocent, even. Stephen wanted to make sure that Tony was actually there, that he was real, that he wouldn't find a Dani when he could have a Carol. Or a Tony. His almost boyfriend.

He hid his smile behind the mug, as he took a sip of his drink.

(...)

Tony paid the bill. That had been the deal, because Maria had picked them up at the stairs, and just like everything on that trip he didn't let Stephen pay.

They stopped on the empty sidewalk. Tony and Stephen next to each other and Maria in front of them.

Tony hugged her. 

"Take care. And stop paying attention to other people's trash, it's not healthy." Tony laughed.

"You too. We'll be back with more time and we can go on a double date with your new girl."

"I'll love that." Maria hugged Stephen. "Take care of him, okay? And lock your cabinets." Stephen smiled. "And please do come back."

"I will. Thank you for tonight." Maria gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked away, waving at them as she walked backwards to her car. They waved back and she got in.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet.

Stephen had his body straightened, an arm around Tony's back, Tony's head on his chest, both hands on his own stomach, looking at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I just kept seeing myself at eighteen in a relationship with someone eight years older and… I just kept thinking how things shouldn't be. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at any of you, it just felt a bit strange."

"Yeah, it was weird for me as well. The next morning we met at the Caves Park and my sister arrived with her and I didn't know what to think."

"Why did they break up?"

"Well, We had this trip planned. We drove all the way to Seattle. I took us four weeks because we would stop along the way just to visit some places, and because we stayed here for a week. When we went back Carol had to go back to Australia, so they thought it would be better."

"Will you?"

"What?" Tony knew what he meant. His heart was beating fast. He hadn't thought about that.

"When are you leaving?" Tony shrugged. 

"Not soon, I promise." He turned his back, facing Stephen for a second. "I'm not going anywhere." 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOTALLY DISAPPEARED I'M SO SO SORRY I'VE BEEN STUDYING LIKE 6H A DAY, WORKING ANOTHER 7 SO...  
> BUT HERE I AM I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!

"You almost ran over the cat!" Stephen argued.

"Maybe you should drive the next time. I've been behind the wheel for five days now, it's not my fault if the…" Tony stopped himself. He looked at Stephen scared, and they put the bags on the floor in the hallway without making a single sound. Stephen looked at him and put his index finger on his lips, asking for Tony to be quiet. Tony nodded.

On Ocean Park Boulevard, Tony’s kitchen door was slightly open. His heart was beating way too fast. He was sure he had locked the door before they left, on Wednesday morning, and Stephen had checked both of their doors before getting in the car. 

“Do you wanna get in?” Stephen whispered. Did he? He didn’t know. He didn’t know if they should call the police or just get in. 

“I don’t know.” He mumbled. 

Stephen pointed to himself, circled his fingers in the air and signed a three and a zero to Tony. He nodded. Tony watched him circle the house counting to thirty. He pushed the door with his fingers carefully, trying not to make any noises. 

Tony got in the kitchen at the same time Stephen opened the living room door. Stephen laughed. 

“SCOTT!” Tony yelled. The man was sitting on his couch, legs crossed, a laptop on his lap. “What the fuck?”

“Livestream.” Tony frowned. 

“And don’t you have your own apartment?” 

“Well, Loki, Sam and Thor are there, and if I went to Hope’s she wouldn’t leave me alone, so here I am.”

“Where were…” Tony winked at him and moved his head, so Stephen would follow him to the kitchen.

“Have you met Tony’s new boyfriend?” Scott read out loud and winked at the camera.

In the kitchen Tony opened the fridge and got them two bottles of water. 

“Do you want something else?” Stephen shrugged. “That’s not an answer.”

“I’m okay. I was thinking…” Stephen was interrupted by Scott’s voice.

“TONY WHO’S YOUR BOYFRIEND?” Tony looked at Stephen and smiled.

“YOU ARE.” He yelled back. Scott raised his arms, looking at the camera. 

“I am.” He said. 

“You were thinking…”

“Can we leave the kitchen?” Tony smiled. He went to the hallway and got his bags, going to his room. Stephen followed. 

He sat on the bed, his back against the bed frame. Stephen sat in front of him, barefoot, his legs crossed. 

“Ugh, why are you so pretty?” Stephen rolled his eyes. “Now it’s the part where you kiss me.” 

Stephen smiled. He leaned on the bed, his body over Tony’s and kissed him. Tony pushed him away for a second when his phone rang in his pocket. 

“Of course you can take him away.” He said, as soon as he answered. Stephen got up, sitting on the bed. Tony sat too. 

“I don’t wanna talk to you. Where’s Stephen?” Tony looked at him and gave him the phone.

“It’s Hope.” 

“Hey!” He said.

“Hey. How are you? How was Yosemite?”

“Amazing. And I have an almost boyfriend.”

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Hope asked. 

“You are.” He answered. Tony smiled. 

“We need to go out for dinner. I wanna hear about Yosemite. I’ll text Tony the details.”

“Works for me. Bye Hope.” 

“Bye, boyfriend.” She hung up. Tony looked at him, smiling. 

“You were thinking about something.”

“I wanna call my sister, but I wanted you here.” Tony nodded. He watched Stephen take his phone of his pocket and make the phone call.

Donna picked up. Nobody said anything in the ten seconds that passed.

“Stephen?”

“Hi.” There was silence again. 

“Hey. How are you, Stephen?” Stephen looked at Tony, who got closer and put his hand on Stephen's leg. 

“Yeah, I’m…” He thought he couldn’t do it. He thought he couldn’t speak. He looked at Tony, and for a brief moment the man smiled at him. “I’m going. You?”

“I’m trying, there’s no one around. At first he was around, and then he was not.” He kept his mouth shut. “How are you?”

“I’m not that alone.” Donna didn’t say anything. The silence lasted for another fifteen seconds. There was nothing else to say, nothing else to be asked, nothing in common that they could talk about. Then, during the silence, he thought about why he wanted to call in the first place. He wasn't so sure anymore. He just felt... He felt that it wasn't their fault. It wasn't his, either, but it totally wasn't their fault. When they were younger, when all of them still lived with Beverly and Eugene things were awful, and then Stephen ran away. He packed his bags and left barely saying goodbye and not talking that often with his siblings was only a consequence, it was only something that happened. He talked to Victor once a week, they made sure they were okay (Stephen would lie most of the time as he always did) and they would check up on each other again seven days from then. But maybe being there with Tony, maybe something in those five days traveling with Tony and listening to his stories with his friends, listening to his stories with Carol made him want more, made him want... A family? A one-person family in Donna, but he wanted one. He wanted what he never had. He wanted someone on the outside to talk to him about the things he was doing, about how Tony made him feel a certain way, but in the silence he realized that maybe things were not supposed to happen the way he wanted. Maybe he and Donna were so different that there was no relationship there to build.

“I have to go.” he said.

“Stephen?” She seemed desperate, desperate to say it before he hung up. “I’m proud of you, we both were, and I love you.” Tony kept his eyes on him. Stephen didn’t move a muscle. He hung up. He threw the phone on the other side of the bed, his breathing uneven, and he put his head on Tony’s lap. Tony hugged him.

“You did good, Steph. It’s okay.” Stephen nodded. He closed his eyes, letting Tony play with his hair.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I have to be at the studio by seven, and I’ll probably stay there for the sixteen hours that follow, so I think I won’t see you, and you need to go back to work.”

“True. Shit.” Tony smiled.

“But you’re welcome to sleep here, if you want.”

“Yeah, it sounds like a good idea.” Stephen looked at him and Tony gave him a peck. Scott opened the bedroom door. 

“Sorry to interrupt. They’re freaking out.” Stephen got up, sitting on the bed and they looked at each other. 

“What?”

“Hope.” Stephen opened his mouth.

“What did she do?” Stephen got Tony’s phone from the bed and opened twitter. 

“@HopeVD: I was on the phone with someone’s ex. “S, who’s your boyfriend?” “you are” I guess Tony and Scott lost.”

Tony looked at him and smiled. 

“It’s nothing. It’s just the first letter.” Stephen took a deep breath. “It’s okay, Steph. They won’t know.” He nodded. 

“Hope said we’re going out tonight.”

“Oh, no. We’re gonna stay home, watch something, eat something. We can’t…” Tony nodded.

“You two are unbearable.” 

“Which reminds me…” Stephen jumped out of the bed, giving Tony a kiss. “I have laundry. I see you later.” Tony nodded. Stephen got his bags on the floor and left the house. 

Scott raised an eyebrow at him, his arms crossed.

“Shut up.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” He smiled. “I’ll call them.” Tony nodded. He got up and unpacked, taking the camping gear of the trunk. 

“You two have three options.” Scott said. “We can go out, we can go to my house or they’ll bring the mess to your house.” 

“I don’t think he’ll want…” Scott raised his eyebrows. “God, fine, I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you.” Tony put the box with the camping gear in the closet in the living room.

_ (4:24 pm) Tony: _

_ If we don’t go out with them they’ll bring the party here. _

_ (4:24 pm) Stephen: _

_ I don’t think it’s a good idea. They all can be recognized, somehow, so they will know it’s me. _

_ (4:25 pm) Tony: _

_ It’s not like I’m Brad Pitt, it’s not everywhere. We went out countless times together during the trip. _

_ (4:25 pm) Stephen: _

_ Yeah, and three girls recognized you and asked for photos. _

_ (4:26 pm) Tony: _

_ But it will be dark. _

_ (4:26 pm) Stephen: _

_ Tony. _

_ (4:27 pm) Tony: _

_ Do you wanna go to Scott’s then? _

_ (4:27) Stephen: _

_ Are we staying there? _

_ (4:27 pm) Tony: _

_ 100% _

_ (4:28 pm) Stephen: _

_ Okay. Sounds good. _

_ (4:28 pm) Tony: _

_ We leave at seven. _

Stephen thought about that. It was enough time to wash his clothes and put them in the dryer. 

(...)

“Okay. Stephen! Stephen!” He looked at Alex. “What was the best moment of your trip?”

He looked at Tony, and then to Carol for a brief second.

“Come on, guys!” 

“Okay, we got it.” Chris raised her hands. “We really got it.”

“It’s not like this. It’s just… All the moments were good.” ony tried to say. Chris smiled.

“He just doesn’t wanna tell us that the best moment happened behind four walls.” Alex threw a pillow at her.

“That’s gross?” Stephen seemed a little embarrassed. Tony leaned to whisper in Scott’s ear.

“Pismo”

“Shit, he knows something. Come on, Lang, spill it.” Scott opened his mouth, unsure if he should say something.

“Come on, what's going on? Were you guys arrested? Were you drunk? Did you fight the whole trip? What is it?”

“Pismo beach.” They both looked at Carol, who threw Tony’s phone back at him, his lockscreen on. “I recognized the cliff. I’ve been there a lot.”

She got up, taking a deep breath.

“I’m fine. It’s just… You don’t need to protect me, she was never mine, you could have talked to her, I don’t care.” She shrugged and grabbed the bottle on the floor, leaving. 

“I’ll go.” Tony nodded. He watched Stephen get up and go after her. He knocked on the bathroom door.

“Hey, it’s Stephen.” He heard Carol unlock the door and got in, closing the door behind him. He sat on the floor, in front of her.

“I’m fine.” Stephen smiled.

“You always think you’re fine, until you realize that you’ve sat on a bathroom floor more times than you can count.” Carol smiled.

“You know what they say. You never forget your first love.” 

“No, not a good one, at least. She was good to you, you’ve learned with all of that, it was part of your life, you can’t forget.”

“How is she?” Stephen shrugged.

“First, she’s pretty. She’s oh wow.” Carol smiled. “She’s good. We can see that she’s been thinking way too much about it, you know? She’s moved on, of course, but I can tell there’s this part of her that keeps what happened close.”

“Dani. I’ve heard. I’ve been trying to move on, but I don’t know where to start.” Stephen nodded.

“You just can’t convince yourself that she was the only one. What happened?”

“Chris.” Stephen raised his eyebrows.

“Chris as in the living room Chris?” Carol nodded.

“She used to talk to me about this girl on the west coast, but she never told me it was Maria. We got there, and I saw her and Chris introduced us. In that first week she seemed a little off, but I thought she was just giving me some space to be with Maria. A little after they left Maria told me that they’d met before, a few times, so I realized. I don’t think it would have helped, anyway, we had already been together, but…” Stephen nodded.

“You thought that things would change if you kept dating her.” Carol nodded.

“You really have a lot of experience on bathroom floors, don’t you?” Stephen smiled.

“Honestly? I’ve been on one, a lot, but I feel like that it’s a part of me that will stay in the past. I’m just scared that the next time I won’t be able to put myself together anymore.”

“I don’t think my brother would do something like this to you.”

“I know. I know he wouldn’t. I’m talking about me.” 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HELLO HELLO I'M SO SORRY I LEFT!!!!!!!!!  
> I WAS EDITING ANOTHER STORY, I WAS WORKING, I WAS HAVING A WEEK-LONG ANXIETY CRISIS, I WAS STUDYING AND PROCRASTINATING, BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I'll be back later to post another one :D

“I know he wouldn’t. I’m talking about me.” Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

“Steph?” Carol raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah? We’re coming out.” He got up, helping Carol and opened the door.

“It’s eleven thirty, maybe we should go?” Stephen nodded.

“Sure. I’ll say goodbye.” He gave Tony a kiss on the cheek and walked away. 

“Look..”

“Tony, we’re good. I never thought I would feel like this with her being in your lives, but I’m good.” Tony nodded. “Do me a favor and take care of him, okay? He’s a keeper.”

‘Sure.” They watched as Stephen came back. “Did you get everything?” Stephen nodded. He gave Carol a kiss and he and Tony walked back to the car holding hands.

“Do you think she’s good?”

“Yeah. She just exploded. I was trying to understand how a one-month relationship could leave that much damage, but I get it.” Stephen looked at him and kissed his hand. 

‘Yeah.’ Tony looked ahead, scared of asking the question. ‘Have you been talking to him?

‘No. It was the weekend. He cheats on me on weekends, remember?”

‘I’m sorry.’ Stephen looked at him.

“Are you?” Tony shrugged. “Can we not talk about it?”

‘We can talk about San Diego.’ Stephen frowned.

“What?’

“I have an event there on Saturday. It’s a talk. I just… I thought you could go with me.”

‘Tony…”

“We could give you an employee credential, so you could see I’m like awesome? It’s a quick flight.” 

‘I don’t know, it sounds risky.” Tony nodded. “Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad. I just…” He shook his head. 

“I didn’t wanna be this person, Tony. I swear, I just…” Tony nodded.

“I understand. I do. It’s a lot to process, and it really does sound risky.” 

“I promise I will be better, I just…”

“Hey” Tony put the hand on his leg. “You don’t need to be better, just don’t leave, okay?” Stephen nodded.

The way back home, despite the light traffic, seemed bigger with the silence. 

Stephen left the car when Tony parked the car in front of the garage, behind the house.

“Tony, wait.” Nat was on the balcony. She looked up, to the sound of Stephen’s voice. She lived in the house next to theirs, so from there she could see Stephen with his back against the car.

Tony got closer, and Stephen put his hand on his waist. The woman smiled watching it.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s a lot. You’re famous, and if it were for me I wouldn’t mind going, but I’m just trying to protect us for now.” 

“Look, I know, okay? I promise this won’t be a big deal. There will be plenty of events for you to come with me, okay? And backstages, and shootings, and photoshoots that I hope you’ll be one of the photographers shooting.” Stephen smiled. Tony gave him a peck and pulled him by the hand.

“Jamey?” Bucky looked at her, as she walked back to their room. “Have you seen Dylan lately?”

“Stephen’s boyfriend?” She nodded. “No. At least I haven’t  _ heard _ him.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Why?” She shrugged sitting on the bed next to him.

“I saw Stephen getting home, so I thought that I hadn’t seen him lately.” The man nodded, turning his eyes back to the laptop in front of him. 

Tony opened the kitchen door and took off his shoes. Stephen did the same, closing the door behind him and following him to the room.

“Hope said that they have options of names for you and how we’ve met. Apparently Samuel, Simon, Stephen, Stanley and Sebastian are the best options, and they think we’ve met during season three.”

“Oh, only if they knew.” Tony smiled. “What else?”

“They think you sing. Kinda right about that.”

“Oh, god, no.”

“I was thinking.” Stephen raised his eyebrows.He was facing Tony, one arm under his pillow and the other under his head. 

“It’s a short flight. I can take a flight back home that same night and we can go to Cheesecake Factory with Scott and Hope.”

“Sounds good. We can do that.” 

“Okay, I’ll leave early tomorrow, so I’ll leave you sleeping.” Tony said, and for a moment Stephen realized that their time together was about to get shorter. 

“We won’t have breakfast together?”

“We can, if you want. I have cereal.”

“High quality. Do you close the box, or do you just leave it there all mushy?”

“Oh, you can always go to your house and eat your crunchy cereal there.” Stephen smiled.

“I’m thinking about something as well.” Stephen said. “I want a twitter account.”

“What?”

“I thought maybe I could have one, and put another name with S, like Spencer or Sean.”

“You’re gonna create a fake account and then what?”

“It’s just…”

“You won’t mess with them, you can’t.”

“I won’t, of course I won’t. I just wanna meet them. I just wanna see what they talk about you, maybe give them something you never give them.”

“Naked pictures?’

“I mean, no, I’m just saying, it will be fun, I think.”

“You won’t mess with them?”

“I promise. I just wanna talk to people, tell them some things, read what they’re saying.”

“Oh, so we’re on stage two now. A twitter account about me. Have you thought about your user? Maybe Tony The Greatest?”

“Oh shut it.” Stephen started blushing. 

“What are you gonna tell them?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll tell them your cereals are always soggy.”

“Oh, that’s the content I would sign for.”

“Oh, okay.” Stephen threw his legs out of the bed, getting up. “I’m going home.”

“Steph, come on. Come back.” He pulled Stephen by the hand. “Do it, it will be nice. It’s a good way to make them like you and they will feel closer if you’re there. Just be careful with names, places…”

“Of course.” Stephen went back to bed, his hands on his stomach, staring at the ceiling. Tony did the same thing. He put his hands under his head, looking up.

“It’s a nice way to show people your devotion to me.” Stephen pulled his pillow and hit it on Tony’s face.

“Fuck you.” Tony smiled. 


	27. Chapter 27

“@Tonysrisends: @maggieckll look at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The tweet had a screenshot of another twitter account. The first tweet Stephen posted was a picture of Carol in the living room.

“@seanvc: someone ask this child to turn the volume DOWN? I’M LOSING MY MIND.”

“@seanvc: @Carolstark don’t make things harder for you”

“@maggieckll: @Tonysrisends OH MY GOD IT CAN’T BE!”

“@Tonysrisends: @maggieckll have you seen this picture before? And Carol is in LA with Tony.”

“Wow, you really know your way around first impressions.” Stephen pressed the phone between his ear and his shoulder and grabbed the can on the shelf. “What are you doing?”

“I’m buying food.” 

“Like real food?”

“Oh, my mental health appreciates it, thank you, honey.”

“Any time. I gotta go.”

“Okay. Drink lots of water, I'll talk to you later.” Tony put his phone in his pocket. He sat on the couch again, looking at Pepper. 

Stephen was slightly nervous. During those four das the only way they had talked to each other was through texts or phone calls. Tony was in the studio all the time shooting the new season and fixing some scenes, and Stephen could hear how tired he was in his voice.

Every day away passed was a day without him and a day closer to having Dylan back. Inevitably the first thing he did when he woke up in the morning was count how many nights there were before the boyfriend would be back, and the number would stay in his head for the rest of the day. Missing Tony also didn’t help.

He just wanted that day to be over and the more he thought about it, the more he wished he had said yes to San Diego, but now it was Friday, so it was too late.

(...)

Stephen knocked on the kitchen door on Saturday afternoon. 

“Hey.” he faked a smile to Carol. “Are you busy?”

She shook her head, denying. “Can we have a bathroom-floor conversation?”

Carol chucked. She let him in, closing the door behind them, and opened the fridge, getting two bottles of beer.

“I don’t drink.”

“Oh, you do today.” They went to the living room, sitting on the couch and looking at each other, their legs crossed, the beer opened in their hands. Stephen looked at the bottle, took a deep breath and took a big sip of it. 

“What’s wrong?” Stephen exhaled. He kept his eyes in the bottle and drank again. “Okay, don’t get drunk before you tell me.”

“Can you promise you won’t tell Tony?”

“I don’t know. If you’re about to tell me you did some stupid shit I’ll punch you first and then I’ll tell him.”

Something in the way Carol spoke made things worse, because she reminded him of Victor.

“I’ll hurt your brother. That’s a fact. It’s something I won’t be able to avoid and I don’t want that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Dylan.” He got up, pacing around the living room. 

“Your ex?”

“My  _ boyfriend. _ We didn’t…”

“You didn’t break up?” Stephen shook his head. “Does Tony know about this?”

“He does, of course, and that’s the problem. I know I won’t be able to break up with him, and I’m scared, I mean, I just… I can’t spend my whole life with Dylan, I can’t spend another week with him, but your brother is too close. God, how can I protect him if I can’t protect  _ myself _ ?” He sat on the floor, looking at her. 

“I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do, I just can’t see Dylan getting close to your brother, you know? I won’t… I couldn’t stand it, but at the same time I can’t hurt his feelings. How can I… I can’t hurt your brother in any way, I mean, I just need to keep him safe, but at the same time I want him with me.” 

Stephen took another big sip from the bottle and looked at Carol.

“We can move.”

“No, oh, god, no. I would spend even less time with him and there’s London in a few months…”

“You can accept his proposal and go to London with him and keep things a secret until then.” 

“We’re not even going out because of it. I’m not in San Diego because of all the secrets, I don’t want that. I don’t wanna hold him, you know?”

“You have to break up with him. With Dylan. We will be fine, Tony will be fine.”

Stephen shook his head.

“I can’t. I can’t even imagine how… You have no idea how he reacted when he thought I was having an affair, I mean… I can’t do it. I can’t.” The thought left Stephen upset. “I can’t.” He drank another sip from the bottle. “I can’t break up with him.”

Carol put the bottle on the floor, next to the couch and kneeled on the floor, in front of him, her hand in his knees. 

“Pretend things are okay for a while, maybe one, two weeks, wait for him to fuck things up and then you break up with him. Tony will be fine, I promise.”

“How? You’re not sure.” 

“Stephen, don’t give up on something that makes you happy, okay? It’s a bad moment or a bad life, doesn’t sound like a hard choice. It’s something. It’s one bad minute or the rest of yours.”

“What happens if Dylan touches him?”

“You don’t have to tell him, just break up, and if you’re tired of hiding, then stop hiding. Go out with him, go to the movies, travel again, watch his weird events, just… Keep doing what you’re doing. Just keep making my brother happy, you two will be okay.”

Stephen closed his eyes.

Carol had this serious tone as she spoke, which didn’t help. Someday he would hurt Tony, it was inevitable, he just didn’t know who it would hurt more. 

And Stephen knew that if he kept going the pain would be way worse for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we're back at it :D  
> I'll be back in a couple of days, see you!!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promised I'd be back in a couple of days, but it was actually a couple of weeks, sorry!!!  
> The reason I took too long is bc I'm the busiest and I'm also posting a new AU called Invisible Man (which is like the work of my life, my favorite child, my reason to live also my first Ironstrange au that I'm actually editing and bringing back after almost three years, so if you wanna check that out it's in my profile)  
> Sorry this one took too long!!

Sometimes you just need a little push, something to make you see things from a different perspective, or realize other things.

Stephen’s phone rang. He looked at the screen, smiled and got up, picking up as he left the house.

“Hey.” He heard Tony take a deep breath on the other side. 

“Hi.” Stephen frowned.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen? Tones?”

“I just… I just had an interview, and there were ten thousand people there just to see me.” Stephen smiled. 

“Okay, take a deep breath, Hollywood.” Tony smiled. “Was it good?”

“I… They were screaming because of me, like do you know how it feels when you’re in front of ten thousand people and they’re like cheering you? It was absurd.”

“Okay, deep breath again.” Tony did what he said. “Hey.”

“Yes.”

“I’m happy for you. You deserve it, you’re really good.”

“I’ll send you a picture.”

“Okay. Eat something, drink water.”

“I will. What are you doing?”

“I was watching an amazing show. The Risen. And then I just came to your house, and now Carol and I are talking and drinking a beer.”

“WHAT? You don’t drink.”

“Yeah, tell that to your sister.”

“Can we talk about something important?” 

“Maybe.”

“My parents are coming to the premiere of the third season in October, and I would like you to meet them. I mean, there’s still time, and I hope we’ll have developed something by then.”

“I’d love to.” Tony opened his mouth. He didn’t expect an answer that fast.

“Really?”

“Of course.” They stayed in silence for a second.

“Stephen?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you. It’s nice to see you accepting things for our future, it makes me feel safe.” 

“Good. I like it too.”

“I have to go. I see you in four hours.”

“I’ll wait.” Tony smiled and hung up. Pepper looked at him, her phone in her hands.

“You’re introducing Stephen to your parents?”

“Something wrong?”

“Stephen is amazing, just make sure you know what you’re doing. Make sure he knows you’re around, that you kiss one of your friends at work, that you travel around, that there will be rumors, lies about you, events, that maybe you won’t be able to be around if he needs you.” 

Tony took a deep breath. He was hoping that Stephen would be the only rumor, but he wasn’t sure if that was going to be totally true, at least not with the premiere and the new movie around the corner. The rumors would show up, it was inevitable. He didn’t have to give them a reason, they were there.

“I will.” Pepper nodded. 

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Tony nodded. “You’re with Stephen now, so who’s the guy from the elevator?”

“Trent.” She chuckled.

“Trent is straight,” Tony laughed, putting the laptop in his backpack.

“If he says so.”

(...)

“@Tean_update: Tony has a picture of him and Sean on his lockscreen.”

The tweet had a picture of Tony carrying his phone on his hand, next to his body, and then a closer screenshot showing the two silhouettes kissing against an orange background on the phone screen.

Stephen opened his mouth, astonished. It was impressive how fast that information had surfaced. Some fan had taken the picture at the airport when Tony walked past him. 

“@TonyStark: going home :)”

“@Seanvc: finally the end of a long week xx”

Tony opened the direct message.

_ Sean: You really don’t know how to be discreet _

_ Tony: What? _

_ Sean: They saw your lock screen _

_ Tony: Can they see you? _

_ Sean: I don’t mind. I guess we’re more than just a rumor now, I think we’re real. _

_ Tony: We’ve always been real, we’re just not a secret anymore. _

_ Sean: I’ll take care of one last thing and then we’ll be free to be real. _

_ Tony: I’ll wait for it eagerly.  _

_ (...) _

“OH MY GOD. Hollywood’s most amazing couple!” Tony smiled. “Me and Tony, of course.”

“This city has never seen two couples as amazing as we are.” Hope hugged Stephen.

“We’re on a double date.” Scott said, wiping the fake tears out of his face. 

“Can we eat now? I just took a long flight, I’m starving.”

“Hon, you’re always starving.” Hope smiled. 

(...)

“An Oreo for me.” Scott said, throwing the menu to Hope.

“Traditional.”

“Dark chocolate, please.” Stephen asked.

“Blueberry.” Tony said. Stephen’s phone rang.

“ _ Direct message from: @Tonysheaven: white chocolate is better” _

He opened his mouth, scared, and looked at Tony. What the…

“Are you okay?” Stephen showed him his screen, and then he opened the message.

_ “Sean: come say hi!”  _ A few seconds later two girls showed up, eyes fixed on them, the only stranger there. Tony winked at him, discreetly. 

“Hi.” The girls exchanged a look. They looked at Tony, unsure of with whom they would talk first.

“Hey. You’re Sean.” Scott laughed.

“Definitely. If there’s someone that is Sean is this guy.” Hope stepped on his right foot on purpose. Scott looked at her.

“Can we take a picture with you?” Stephen and Tony looked at each other. 

“Sure.” Tony got up. Stephen took the phone of his hand and took the picture of the five of them.

“Are you coming?”

“Girls, not today, I’m sorry. Maybe another time.” They nodded. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Thank you.” The four of them smiled and the girls walked away. 

“God, that was weird.” Stephen said, exhaling. 

“Are you okay?” Stephen looked at him.

“Can you come with me?” Tony nodded. They walked together to the restroom.

“Steph?” The older one had his hands on the sink, facing down. “Hey, talk to me.”

Stephen looked at him.

“What do you want us to be?”

“What?”

“Do you want them to know, ot do you want things to be just between us?”

“I don’t know. I just wanna be around you, anywhere.”

“Okay, let’s do things properly, then. Let’s be real, what do you think?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I want to be here. I want to be anywhere, I just wanna keep what we have.” only smiled. He gave Stephen his hand, and Stephen grabbed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> HEY!!!  
> Let me know what you thought!!  
> Seen you soon <3


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